


You've Been Added To Space Nerds

by yaxuxi



Category: Voltron: Defender of the Universe, Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Crack, M/M, Nonbinary Character, Skype, Texting, allura is still a princess, and lance is a aggressive bisexual, chat fic, gays in college, hunk is a master chef, im so sorry i havent updated in ten years, its basically voltron meme squad back at it, keith and lance are disgustingly in love, keith is super gay, kind of??? but also serious at times, lance and pidge are meme lords, they're all part of the pluto protection squad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-26
Updated: 2016-08-16
Packaged: 2018-07-26 19:01:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 27,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7586221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yaxuxi/pseuds/yaxuxi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><b>Space Daddy™</b>: Children,<br/><b>Space Daddy™</b>: please. </p><p> </p><p>( or that one fic where voltron meme squad is formed by various college kids all over japan and keith is slowly falling head over heels in love with the kid with freckles on his face and stars in his eyes )</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Protect Pluto

_ September 13th _

 

_ [ 12: 11 ] _

 

**Sir Lancelot** has created  **_Space Nerds_ **

 

 **Sir Lancelot** has added **> >>** **here come dat pidge, keitharoni, McHunk, Space mom, Stache and Space Daddy** **™** to the chat

 

**Space Daddy** **™:** why am I space daddy

**Sir Lancelot:** bEcA U S e you r !!

**Space mom** : i agree u r space dad

**McHunk** : maybe not daddy???? 

**here come dat pidge** : damn that some kinky shit :P 

**keitharoni:** i cant believ e im named after fuckkng mac n cheese 

**Sir Lancelot** : d O NOT UNDERESTIMATE THE CHEESE U FOOL 

**Stache** : have you all been upholding your duties as PPS? 

**Space Daddy** **™:** of course it is of utmost importance we do so 

**Space mom** : i have held up my duties as part of pluto protection squad

**keitharoni** : meh 

**keitharoni:** i tried 

**Sir** **Lancelot** : i screamed at hunk yesterday for a solid 15 min about ho w improotnat pluto is as a planet 

**here come dat pidge** : typo much ???? 

**Sir** **Lancelot** : fuck u pidgeot ill fight 

**Sir** **Lancelot** : ur only likeek

 **Sir** **Lancelot** : a few hours away u poo 

**here come dat pidge** : wow im so scared of u 

**here come dat pidge:** whatre u gon do send me horrible memes 

**keitharoni** : im glad i dont know u irl man 

**Sir** **Lancelot** : r00d af keithy boy 

**Sir Lancelot:** plsus u only live like 3 hours awayyy 

**keitharoni** : stop calling me tha t u little shit 

**Space Daddy** **™:** Children,

**Space Daddy** **™:** please. 

**Space** **mom** : uh oh hes gon beat your asses 

**Space Daddy** **™:** allura i will not !! also shouldnt u all be asleep??? 

**Sir Lancelot** : SLEEP IS FOR THE  W E A K 

**McHunk** : says the guy whos slept for 3 days in a row 

**Sir Lancelot** : hu nk !! u promised not to tell u poo 

**keitharoni:** u shit youve literally fallen asleep in the middle of a skype call w me

**Space Daddy** **™:** that sounds like a lance thing to do 

**Space mom:** so you guys regularly have skype calls eh

**Space mom:** hmmmmmmm…..

**keitharoni:** what

**here come dat pidge** : so he lanced shit up

**here come dat pidge:** typical 

**Sir Lancelot :** did u just 

**Sir Lancelot:** use my na me

**Sir Lancelot:** as a fuckkgning verb 

**here come dat pidge:** yeah whatre u gonna do about it???? 

**Space mom:** stop your squabbling !! this is preposterous 

**McHunk:** mom busting out the big words 

**Stache:** shes in literature mode rn, exams are coming up 

**Sir Lancelot:** ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

**here come dat pidge:** O HHHHHHHHHHHH

**McHunk:** O H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H

**keitharoni:** _ OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH  _

**Sir Lancelot:** _ ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh _

**here come dat pidge:** _ O HHHHHHHHHHHHHHH _

**McHunk:** _ O H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H  _

**keitharoni:** **_OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH_ **

**Space Daddy** **™:** why are you guys like this 

**Sir Lancelot:** D A D  y O U ruin ED i t

**here come dat pidge:** ALL OUR EFFORT 

**here come dat pidge:** W A S T E D

**keitharoni:** how could u shiro 

**Space Daddy** **™:** keith you too?! 

**Space mom:** it's uncanny how in synch you all were 

**Sir Lancelot:** it’s 

**here come dat pidge:** almost 

**McHunk:** like 

**keitharoni:** we 

**Sir Lancelot:** share 

**here come dat pidge:** the 

**McHunk:** same 

**keitharoni:** brain. 

**Stache:** that was rlly creepy but the scientist side of me wants to know how you do it 

**Space mom:** the reason is that theyre all idiots :)) 

**Sir Lancelot:** daaaaaaaad mom is being m e AN 

**Space Daddy** **™:** I don't have time for this Lance, go cry to Hunk 

**McHunk:** OH 

**here come dat pidge:** SHIT 

**keitharoni:** HE 

**McHunk:** DID

**here come dat pidge:** THAAAAAT 

**Sir Lancelot:** i feel so betrayed im N o T givinh u 3 my famous cakes anymore

**here come dat pidge:** you know we love you Lance

**keitharoni:** DONT TAKE THE CAKES AWAY I LOOK FORWARD TO THEM EVERY MONTH

**McHunk:** YOU WOULD DO THIS ACT OF CAKE CRUELTY TO UR BEST FRIEND??? U HEARTLESS SOGGY CHICKEN NUGGET IM DELETING YOU 

**Sir Lancelot:** im pretty sure u guys r only friends with me for the cake 

**here come dat pidge:** how did you find out??? 

**keitharoni:** didnt think it was that obvious

**McHunk:** lance just came into my room and dramatically fell into my bed after saying something in Spanish 

_ McHunk has attached a video >> CryingSpanishMess.png  _

**keitharoni:** lances Spanish is the one thing he hasnt fucked u p 

**Sir Lancelot:** ILL HAVE YOU KNOW IM THE TOP STUDENT IN MY ASTRONOMY CLASS 

**McHunk:** its surprisingly true 

**McHunk:** hes also doing well in his double major 

**Space mom:** i completely forgot that lance is the only double major out of all of usu 

**Sir Lancelot:** usu 

**keitharoni:** usu 

**here come dat pidge:** usu 

**McHunk:** usu

**Stache:** usu 

**Space Daddy** **™:** usu 

**Space mom:** STO P 

**Space mom:** WHYRE U GUYS LIKE THIS TO ME??? CORAN I CAN HEAR U CACKLI NG DAMN IT 

**Space mom:** IM COMING FOR YOU AND YOUR MUSTACHE 

**Stache:** P L EASE ANYTHING BUT MY BEAUTIFUL WORK OF ART

**Stache:** ABORT ABORT THE PRINCESS IS TRHING TO KILL ME GOO— 

 

_ Stache has left the chat  _

 

_ Space Mom has left the chat  _

 

**Sir Lancelot:** sometimes i forget that theyre actually royalty 

**here come dat pidge:** ik its wild like??? we have a real princess in our gc 

**keitharoni:** shes also the only mildly pleasant looking one out of us 

**McHunk:** r u saying youd prefer her over all of us? 

**keitharoni:** yes 

**Sir Lancelot:** aren't u gay???? UR SAYING YOUD PREFER ALLURA OVER MY BOYISH CHARMS ;)))))) 

**keitharoni:** _ yes  _ even more now 

**Sir Lancelot:** r00d 

**keitharoni:** says the r00d one 

**Sir Lancelot:** YOURE RUDER THAN ME u fool

**here come dat pidge:** just get married already 

**keitharoni:** i will crush u without a single thought 

**Here come dat pidge:** wO W im so scared shaking in my boots

**McHunk:** eat a snickers keith, u just arent u rn

**Sir Lancelot:** gtg gtg hunk is cooking a late night snack 

 

_ Sir Lancelot is now offline  _

 

_ McHunk is now offline _

 

**here come dat pidge:** gn keithy boy 

**keitharoni:** dont call me that! 

 

_ here come dat pidge is now offline  _

 

_ keitharoni is now offline  _

  
**Space Daddy** **™:** Really, what will I do with these children? 


	2. D A B

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> cats or dogs????? also lance gets drunk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok a few notes about the characters !! 
> 
> \- they're all in japan!! but at minimum live 1-2 hours or so away from each other  
> \- lance and hunk live together; they are childhood besties and share an apartment  
> \- pidge lives by themselves as do keith and shiro  
> \- allura and coran live together !! they're still royalty but allura is from a noble family and she's here for college as well as coran who got a job as a chemistry professor at her uni  
> \- allura and shiro are seniors in college while the other 3 are sophomores  
> \- hunk goes to culinary school bc that man is the best cook ever ; he also has a job at a five star hotel  
> \- keith is an art history major  
> \- lance double majors in art and astronomy like the nerd he is  
> \- pidge is a biomed engineering major bc they're super smart  
> \- allura is a literature major and she wants to be a writer :)))  
> \- shiro is an english major and he wants to be a teacher !!  
> \- they all met because Lance started a Pluto Protection Squad on tumblr

**Space mom >>> ** **here come dat pidge, keitharoni, McHunk, Sir Lancelot, and Space Daddy** **™**

 

_ September 17th  _

 

_ [ 11:16 a.m. ]  _

  
  


**Space mom:** CORAN BOUGHT FIVE KITTIES HOME 

**Sir Lancelot:** DID I HEAR KITTIES 

**McHunk:** KITTIES??????

**Sir Lancelot:** CORAN CAN WE HAVE ONE

**Sir Lancelot:** MOM PLEASE 

**Space mom:** yes of course !! hunk’s culinary school is fairly close to my uni so i can bring it by after classes? 

**McHunk:** yes very good I approve bring all the cats 

**Sir Lancelot:** how many can we HA VE ??? I WANT ALL THE CATS

**Stache:** ill give you guys two of them !! you can each choose one 

 

_ Stache has attached a photo >>> CuteKittens.png _

 

**Sir Lancelot:** I TOTALLY CALL DIBS ON THE ONE WITH BLUE EYES 

**McHunk:** ok AY b ut the orange haired one with yellow eyes is mine ^^ 

**Sir Lancelot:** I can grab cat food and bowls after my 7 pm star lecture !!! 

**keitharoni:** gross u guys like caTS ??? s mh i expected better from u noodle boy 

**Sir Lancelot:** i love both cats aND dogs u meanie 

**keitharoni:** dogs are W A Y better 

**Sir Lancelot:** are not 

**keitharoni:** are too 

**Sir Lancelot:** are n o t 

**keitharoni:** are t o o 

**Sir Lancelot:** are NOT 

**keitharoni:** are TOO 

**here come dat pidge:** will u guys stfu? some people r in claSS 

**Sir Lancelot:** im in class too and hunk is glaring at me from the back 

**McHunk** : pay attention to Mr.Sendak !! we have exams coming up 

**keitharoni:** if u don't pay attention my English grade will be higher than urs again 

**Sir Lancelot:** pfft my art and astronomy grades r the top tho so it's O k a Y 

**keitharoni:** is that your excuse??? for when u get a lower score than me??? 

**Sir Lancelot:** o h it is SO ON niño bonito 

**McHunk** : really guys? could u be any more childish 

**keitharoni:** is niño bonito some sort of insult??? bc who's r00d now 

**Sir Lancelot:** blah blah blah 

  
  


_ [ 7:15 pm ]  _

 

**Sir Lancelot:** THE KITTIES R SO CUTE OK LOOK AT THEM 

 

_ Sir Lancelot has attached a photo >>> LOOKATMYKITTYBLUE.png  _

 

**Space mom:** AWWWWW!! 

**Space Daddy** **™:** lance are u wearing the Harry Potter boxers i bought you last week? 

**Sir Lancelot:** …...yes? is that a bad thing? 

**Space Daddy** **™:** there's tears coming to my eyes im so glad u liked it 

**Space mom:** i can confirm this big buff man is actually crying in happiness 

 

_ Space mom has attached a photo>>> BigBuffKiddo.png  _

 

**Space Daddy** **™:** ALLURA YOU HAVE BETRAYED ME I DONT SCREENSHOT UR EMBARRASSING MOMENTS 

**Space mom:** this is payback for emailing coran pics of me sleeping :P 

**McHunk:** yeah you tell him mum 

**Sir Lancelot:** HUNK COME QUICK THE LAMP IS ON FIRE 

**McHunk:** DAMN IT LANCE HOLD ON 

 

_ Sir Lancelot has attached a video >>> LampOnFire.png _

 

**Sir Lancelot:** We’re hosting a funeral tmrw night for my great space lamp :( 

**here come dat pidge:** i pray for ur loss and my condolences go out to the lamp’s family 

**Sir Lancelot:** WE WERE THAT LAMPS ONLY FAMILY 

**McHunk:** this is a sad, sad day

**keitharoni:** dont u think ur over reacting lance 

**Sir Lancelot:** why would u only corner me 

**Sir Lancelot:** IM NOT THE ONLY ONE HEING DRAMATIC HERE 

**keitharoni:** ok first of all 

**keitharoni:** ur ALWAYS dramatic so stop lying 

**keitharoni:** and secondly, PLEASE BUY A FUCKKING DICTIONARY AND SPELL RIGHT DAMN IT 

**Sir Lancelot:** R00D ASS HOE 

**Sir Lancelot:** KEITHY BOY IK WH ERE U LIVE I WILL BUST UR DOOR DOWN AND FIGHT 

**Sir Lancelot:** YOU DONT LIVE THAT F A R AWAY

**keitharoni:** i fucking daRE you 

**here come dat pidge:** does everyone else feel the sexual tension? 

**Space Daddy** **™:** yes 

**Space mom:** yes 

**McHunk:** yes 

**Stache:** yes 

**keitharoni:** fuck you guys 

**Sir Lancelot:** ye A h fucKK you guys =.= 

**here come dat pidge:** how about you fuck each other? 

**keitharoni:** really? 

**Sir Lancelot:** pidgeon pls 

**Stache:** KEITH WE HAVE AN EXTRA CAT DO YOU WANT ONE???  

**keitharoni:** no gross 

**Stache:** cmon look at this cutie :3 

 

_ Stache has attached a photo >>> Kitty.png  _

 

**Stache:** look at those EYES 

**Stache:** cmon keith 

**Stache:** keeeeeeeeeeeeeeith 

**keitharoni:** i am sighing rlly loudly rn 

**keitharoni:** but FINE ill swing by ur cafe tonight and grab her 

**Sir Lancelot:** Y E S !!! SHOW ME RED DURING THE CALL TONIGHT 

**keitharoni:** Red? are u naming my cat for me 

**Sir Lancelot:** duh??? it has a red streak of fur on its tummy???? it's the best name e v e r 

**keitharoni:** fine ill name her Red 

**here come dat pidge:** can u guys pls take ur flirting elsewhere i am TRHING to work on a project for my biomedical engineering project 

**Sir Lancelot:** we’re not flirting :P 

**keitharoni:** we’re not flirting !! 

**McHunk:** w/ever Lance come get ur enchiladas theyre hot and ready to eat 

**keitharoni:** fuck now im hung ry damn you 

**Sir Lancelot:** H AH 

  
  


_ September 18th _

 

_ [ 2:34 am]  _

 

**Sir Lancelot >>> keitharoni **

  
  


**Sir Lancelot:** let ur cat sleep on ur chest itll make u both feel v happy 

**keitharoni:** what if she scratches me?! 

**Sir Lancelot:** a tru car owner cannot fear the claws 

**Sir Lancelot:** car 

**Sir Lancelot:** car 

**Sir Lancelot:** CAR 

**keitharoni:** ur such a fuck up im wheezING 

**Sir Lancelot:** C A T 

**Sir Lancelot:** I GOT IT HAH TAKE THAT GODS OF SPELLING 

**keitharoni:** literally why am i friends with u 

**Sir Lancelot:** bc im the only insomniac u know who will listen to ur emo mcr shit w/ you 

**keitharoni:** r we going to call or???? 

**Sir Lancelot:** i would but i don't want to shift and wake up Blue 

**keitharoni:** Blue? pls dont tell me u named ur cat Blue 

**Sir Lancelot:** I DID! u got a problem with that huh??? 

**Sir Lancelot:** u wanna fight???? squA R E up 

**keitharoni:** lance pls sleep 

**keitharoni:** pls its for your own good noodle 

**Sir Lancelot:** fine 

**Sir Lancelot:** but only if u go to sleep 

**keitharoni:** f i n e 

**Sir Lancelot:** FINE 

**keitharoni:** F I N E 

**Sir Lancelot:** _ FINE  _

**keitharoni:** _ F I N E  _

**Sir Lancelot:** u poo 

**keitharoni:** go to sleep !!! 

  
  
  
  


_ [ 9:36 am ]  _

 

**Space Daddy** **™:** guess who marathoned all the LOTR movies???? 

**Space Daddy** **™:** THIS G U Y 

**Sir Lancelot:** im proud welcome to the nerd side my pal, buddy, space daddio \\(>.^)/

**keitharoni:** wtf is that 

**Sir Lancelot:** an emoji???? u emotionless bastard 

**here come dat pidge:** d 

**McHunk:** a 

**keitharoni:** b

**Sir Lancelot:** D A B 

**Stache:** how do you guys do that??? how?! 

 

_ Sir Lancelot has attached a photo >>> ThatMeDabbing.png  _

 

**McHunk:** Lance literally took this in the middle of self study during art i can see him through the window 

**Space Daddy** **™:** please don't stop paying attention in class to dab lance 

**Space Daddy** **™:** why are the children like this

**here come dat pidge:** true dabbers will dab anytime aNYWHERE 

**here come dat pidge:** can i get an amen brotha 

**Sir Lancelot:** A M E N 

 

_ Sir Lancelot dabs aggressively  _

 

_ here come dat pidge dabs even more aggressively  _

 

**Sir Lancelot:** pidge i will ditch class so i can call u to have a dab off 

**here come dat pidge:** aLright LETS GO 

**Space Daddy** **™:** you most certainly will not!! allura some help???? 

**Space mom:** add me in the call if u guys do it 

**Space Daddy** **™:** Allura?! 

 

_ Space mom dabs the most aggressively  _

 

**Space Daddy** **™:** why 

**keitharoni:** I ask myself that everyday pal

  
  
  


_ [ 11:13 pm ]  _

 

**Sir Lancelot:** GUYSYSSSSYYSSSS

**Sir Lancelot:** DID U KNOW IF TWIST THIS SHINY KNOB THINGY WATER U CAN ACTUALLY DRINK COMES OUT???? 

**Sir Lancelot:** IS THIS THE WORK OF THE GOds?!!?!! 

**Space Daddy** **™:** Lance, are you ok? 

**McHunk:** uh he's actually piss drunk 

**keitharoni:** how the fuck did you let that happen 

**McHunk:** i got home from grocery shopping to find Lance sitting in a pile of 7 empty vodka bottles as he slowly stroked Blue 

**here come dat pidge:** creepy 

**Sir Lancelot:** keithy boy 

**Sir Lancelot:** mullet man 

**Sir Lancelot:** mr grumps 

**Sir Lancelot:** buddy;;; 

**keitharoni:** what the fuck do u w a n t noodle 

**Sir Lancelot:** D E E Z NUTS ha h 

**here come dat pidge:** take u n ur shit memes oUT of here 

**Space mom:** lance i will kick your ass into the sun 

**Space Daddy** **™:** whY MUST IT ALWAYS BE LIKE THIS

**McHunk:** IM SCARED HES STARING AT THE STATIC TV SCREEN WITH AVID INTEREST NOW 

**Space mom:** guys lets call rn i have to see this with my  _ own  _ eyes 

**keitharoni:** k whos gonna start it 

**Space Daddy** **™:** gimme a sec 

**Space Daddy** **™:** ok here we go 

 

_ Space nerds is now calling……. _

 

Keith stifled a laugh at the panicked look on Hunk’s face as he answered the video chat, practically on the verge of tears. His bandana was untied, and eyes were flitting about in a state of hysteria. 

“That bad, huh?” Shiro’s voice crackled through Keith’s speakers, moments later a bespectacled Shiro appearing in the small video box. His hair was wet, a towel wrapped around his shoulders—fresh out of the shower. Keith himself was clad in grey joggers and a old baseball shirt from when he played in high school.

“It’s horrible! Just look,” Hunk cried out, flipping the camera around so they could all see Lance in his piss drunk state. Explosions of laughter broke through, Allura and Coran laughing so hard their screen had started shaking. Keith himself was practically doubled over; he would hold this moment over Lance forever, he thought, quickly snapping a picture of Lance. 

The man they were all laughing about was currently sitting upside down on the couch and intently staring at a tv screen filled with static, a bewildered look on his face while he mumbled things in faint Spanish. Keith smiled softly; it was quite endearing to listen to Lance talk in his mother tongue. Often times during their calls when Lance realized Keith needed sleep desperately, he would sing a song in Spanish, which would put Keith to sleep in 10-15 minutes  _ tops.  _

“HUNK! IS THAT KEITHY BOY! AND SHIRO THOSE SHOULDERS! HOW SCANDALOUS!” Lance gasped, tumbling off the couch as he crawled up close to the camera, practically shoving Hunk out of the way. “Lance!” 

“I’m holding this against Lance forever,” Allura chuckled, her accent particularly heavy as she rubbed her sleep ridden eyes. Coran was sitting next to her absent mindedly twirling his mustache with a grin on his face.

“Screw you guys. I have to deal with hungover Lance all day tomorrow,” Hunk grumbled, shoving Lance out of the way with a grunt. Lance was now sitting behind Hunk pulling funny faces, and occasionally flipping the bird.

“Do you remember that time Lance got so drunk he somehow made his way all the way to my apartment?” Pidge asked, finally appearing in their video box. Their glasses were sliding down their face, and their hair was flying everywhere. Talk about insane bedhead.

“And he kept ringing your doorbell while singing the Hedwig theme!” Shiro laughed, remembering the video Pidge had sent them a few months back. Hunk said Lance tended to get piss drunk when he was anxious or especially depressed about something, so they all tried to lighten the mood with jokes. It helped that Lance always seemed to be doing the stupidest things when he was drunk.

“I’m gonna go and try to get this idiot to sleep,” Hunk huffed, lugging a babbling Lance over his shoulder. Keith grinned, quickly screenshotting the delirious look on Lance’s face. That would make a great contact picture (and blackmail).

“I’ll end the call. Get some sleep guys.” Shiro’s voice was the last thing they heard before the call ended, taking them back to the chat.

  
  
  


**Space Daddy** **™:** go to sleep children 

**keitharoni:** yes dad 

**here come dat pidge:** as you wish 

**here come dat pidge:** jk tumblr is calling my name gtg gt g

**McHunk:** gn !! and pidge pls try to get SO ME sleep u fool 

**keitharoni:** ur becoming like lance with his ‘u fools’

**McHunk:** im offended i am nothing like him 

**McHunk:** lance has passed out in the bathtub btw im leaving him here 

**Space mom:** pics or it didnt happen 

 

_ McHunk has attached a photo >>> LanceSleepingInTub.png _

 

**Stache:** what a reckless youngin 

**here come dat pidge:** hes going to die 

**here come dat pidge:** a crazy yung 

**here come dat pidge:** a true og 

**keitharoni:** its ok no one cares anyways 

**Space mom:** oh s h i t 

**here come dat pidge:** whaddup!!!

**Space Daddy** **™:** go to sleep i s2g 

**Space mom:** gn !! 

**McHunk:** goodnight you eggs 

**keitharoni:** night 

 

_ McHunk is now offline  _

 

_ Space Daddy _ _ ™ is now offline  _

 

_ keitharoni is now offline _

 

_ Space mom is now offline  _

 

_ Stache is now offline  _

 

**here come dat pidge:** fine ill meme by myself 

**here come dat pidge:** deep into the night 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you guys enjoyed this chap !! I'm hoping for daily updates? but expect updates 2-3 times a week or so! tumblr @ plumsakusa and twitter @ spacedaddio


	3. Literally

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lance secretly loves all his memers and is a raging bisexual ; shiro refuses to deal with bad grammar ; keith is gay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow look at me two chapters in one day !! look at me go !! n y o o m

**McHunk >>> here come dat pidge, keitharoni, Space mom, Sir Lancelot, and ** **Space Daddy** **™**

 

_ September 21st  _

 

_ [ 2:30 pm ] _

  
  


**McHunk:** lance is rage baking should i be scared 

**Space mom:** rage baking????? 

**McHunk:** he is baking with much range in his soul 

**here come dat pidge:** hes a tol ball of rage and anger 

**keitharoni:** is this bc i said Red was better than Blue 

**McHunk:** are u talking about the colors or the cats???? bc either way lance would be v offended

**keitharoni:** i said my cat was better than his this morning when we were ftiming during our cat walks 

**Space mom:** you guys take ur cats on walks? 

**keitharoni:** you dont???? what typa of cat owner 

**Space Daddy** **™:** u guys face time while walking your cats????????

**keitharoni:** i dont see what the big deal is 

**keitharoni:** we’re bros 

**keitharoni:** enemies 

**keitharoni:** bronemies 

**here come dat pidge:** mhm whtever u say 

**keitharoni:** what 

**Stache:** a h youngins 

**Space mom:** ur not even that old corn wyd 

**Space Daddy** **™:** corn 

**McHunk:** corn 

**here come dat pidge:** corn 

**keitharoni:** corn 

**Sir Lancelot:** CORN 

**Space mom:** I DONT DESERVE 

**Space mom:** TO BE TREATED THIS WAY 

**Stache:** princess is screaming with her face in a pillow 

 

_ Stache has attached a photo >>> Screm.png _

**here come dat pidge:** what a mess

**Space mom:** SAYS THE ON E WHO WAS BLOGGING AT 4 AM

**Space Daddy** **™:** Pidge! you need to sleep 

**here come dat pidge:** ok but sO WAS LANCE

**Sir Lancelot:** did u ju s t 

**here come dat pidge:** o h fuck 

**Space mom:** no he wasnt???? we all follow lance theres no posts 

**keitharoni:** unless…….

**Space mom:** LANCE 

**Space mom:** YOU HAVE ANOTHER BLOG THAT U HAVENT SHARED WITH US 

**Sir Lancelot:** DAMN IT PIDGE 

**Sir Lancelot:** abort abort 

**Space mom:** dont u run away mister 

**Space Daddy** **™:** how could u hide something like this from us 

**keitharoni:** im surprised this idiot could even keep a secret

**Sir Lancelot:** i g tg gtg 

 

_ Sir Lancelot is now offline  _

 

**McHunk:** lance is sitting in the closet and refusing to answer my questions 

**McHunk:** at least he finished the cinnamon cookies 

**Space mom:** pidge……

**here come dat pidge:** uh oh 

**Space Daddy** **™:** spill the beans 

**here come dat pidge:** im sworn by our broship 

**McHunk:** he told you and not me?! ive known him since he was in diapers ffs

**here come dat pidge:** well i kind of accidentally found out and hes rlly embarrassed about it even tho its such a neat blo g

**Space Daddy** **™:** what is it 

**Space mom:** just tell us 

**Stache:** i must admit, i am curious as well 

**here come dat pidge:** u guys….

**here come dat pidge:** our faces are tumblr famous 

**keitharoni:** what????

**here come dat pidge:** lance has an art blog where he draws us a l o t 

**Space mom:** HE HID THIS FROM US?? ARE YOU KIDDING ME??

**here come dat pidge:** r u mad??? 

**Space mom:** no im sO HAPP Y I WANT TO SEE THEM 

**here come dat pidge:** his blog is spacebi 

**keitharoni:** holy shit these r really good???? I knew he was good but????

**Space mom:** HE MADE ME SO PRETTY im le g it cryignig 

**Sir Lancelot:** u guys like i t?? dont think its weird ??? 

**Space Daddy** **™:** I personally love it !! lance why would not sahre this with us

**Space mom:** sahre

**here come dat pidge:** sahre

**keitharoni:** sahre

**Stache:** sahre

 

_ Sir Lancelot has renamed this conversation to “sahre” _

 

**Space Daddy** **™:** ok ay thats not fair 

**Space Daddy** **™:** how come when lance typos the shit out of everything u dont do this to him 

**keitharoni:** he does it too often for us to make fun of every single one 

**Space Daddy** **™:** im reporting yall for cyber harassment 

**Sir Lancelot:** t ry me daddy 

**here come dat pidge:** u calling him daddy just made that 

**here come dat pidge:** non threatening n rly kinky

**keitharoni:** do u have a daddy kink lance its ok we wont judge 

**Space mom:** yes we will stop lying to the man 

**Sir Lancelot:** no wtf 

**Stache:** this is a safe place lance u can tell us 

**Sir Lancelot:** what the heck i dont have a daddy kink 

**McHunk:** its ok lance just tell us admitting it is the first step 

**here come dat pidge:** better to tell us than ur future s/o 

**Sir Lancelot:** I DO N O T HAVE A DADDY KINK FOR FUCKS SAK E e 

**Sir Lancelot:** IM SUING SEE U HOES IN COURT 

**keitharoni:** ur literally so fucking dramatic 

**McHunk:** literally get a hold of urself 

**here come dat pidge:** ok who would literally go to court 

**Space mom:** ikr like literally stop being a prissy little hoe 

**Space Daddy** **™:** stop 

**Space Daddy** **™:** ik what ur doing 

**Space mom:** we r literally doing nothing??? chill shiro 

**here come dat pidge:** ye like we r literally just relaxin 

**Space Daddy** **™:** STOP YOU GUYS KNOW I HATE /THAT/ WORD

**McHunk:** i literally have no clue what u mean? 

**keitharoni:** yeah like literally stop screaming its not good for u 

**Space Daddy** **™:** this is true pain 

  
  


_ [ 5:45 am ]  _

 

**Sir Lancelot >>> keitharoni **

  
  


**Sir Lancelot:** do u think aliens exist 

**keitharoni:** it is the crack ass of dawn why r u awake u poo 

**keitharoni:** and no aliens dont exist 

**Sir Lancelot:** they so do !! 

**Sir Lancelot:** stop hating on the aliens

**keitharoni:** _ Lance _

**Sir Lancelot:** …..uh 

**keitharoni:** _ lance _

**Sir Lancelot:** ok fine

**Sir Lancelot:** i never went to sleep 

**keitharoni:** lance i s2g u need sleep esp bc today is thursday dont u have lectures starting from 9 am with mr ass face 

**Sir Lancelot:** but i cant sleep :( 

**Sir Lancelot:** wanna call? 

**keitharoni:** if u want to 

**keitharoni:** bc i do 

**Sir Lancelot:** k hold on a tic 

 

Lance cleared his throat, smiling widely when an equally sleepy Keith appeared in the small box, hair pulled back in a pony tail and wearing a distinctly familiar looking orange shirt. 

“Is that the dragon ball Z shirt I sent you for your birthday?!” Lance shrieked, nearly forgetting that Hunk was sleeping in the next room over. He slapped a hand over his mouth in surprise, sitting back in his chair (he had unconsciously leaned forward). 

“Yes? You numbskull, stop screeching; my neighbors will send complaints,” Keith told him dryly, unable to help the gentle curve of his lips as his eyes raked Lance over. The man was wearing a unicorn onesie for Christ’s sake, eyes rimmed red as if he had been….crying? 

“Lance,” Keith began softly, a hand reaching towards the screen, “are you okay?”

Keith knew Lance seemed like the most confident person you’ll ever meet, but behind the well timed quips and overflowing arrogance, was an insecure man with a list of worries longer than the Bible. They all knew Lance took anxiety pills and was always told off by others if he said he had anxiety. Keith was his emergency supply for anxiety pills; he had paid fifteen dollars to first class ship bottles of anxiety pills to Lance when he was starting to run out and couldn’t afford to pay for any without calling his parents, who lived in Mexico, up. 

“I’m fine! Hunk and I watched Big Hero 6 and I started crying,” Lance said cheerfully, and if possible, his smile grew even wider. Keith sighed, the worry rushing out of him. Nothing was wrong, just Lance being a big baby. 

“You’re such a big baby,” Keith mumbled, leaning back in his spinny chair and watching the various emotions flit across Lance’s facial features. If Keith had to pick his favorite feature of Lance’s face, it would be his eyes and the freckles that dotted his face like stars. But Lance’s eyes. Those were amazing and absolutely, sometimes shining with joy or swimming with tears. Everything about Lance reminded him of stars (it helps that he majored in astronomy). His eyes were filled with stars, always sparkling, bouncing around in happiness. But always looking at Keith. Looking at him like he was the only thing that mattered, and it made Keith’s heart squeeze. How many times has he thought about hugging Lance, pressing a quick kiss to his tan forehead, running a hand through that obnoxious curly hair? 

“Dios, tu culo está fuera de este mundo,” Lance spit out, surprising Keith who had been trudged into the kitchen at this point to make himself some coffee. 

“Stop insulting me in Spanish, you noodle,” Keith said, scowling and pretending to flick Lance’s forehead through the screen. Keith look at the pot of coffee and the cup before grabbing the pot and returning to his room. If he was going to put up with Lance at this time of the day, he was going to need all the coffee he could get. 

“So I marathoned Stars Wars with Shiro on rabbit last night and get this: he’s officially a big fucking nerd,” Lance said with bravado, waving those  _ ridiculous  _ jazz hands around. Keith grinned nonetheless; it would be fun to tease Shiro in the chat later (at an acceptable time when normal, not insomniac, people are awake). 

“Ok, but we all knew that already. And you’re a bigger nerd, nerd,” Keith scoffed, chuckling when Lance pouted and flipped him the bird, nearly falling off his chair. “Can I see your cat? Where’s Blue?” Keith peered into Lance’s room, eyes straining to try and find his cat. 

“I’ll go grab her!” Lance disappeared, bounding out of sight. Keith smiled, listening to his pounding footsteps (and a loud “shit!” that followed a loud bang). Keith laughed out loud this time, used to Lance falling and tripping during their calls. Especially when they face timed while Lance or Keith was walking around their respective college campuses. Keith knew Lance liked to skateboard and facetime him at the same time, so he’d seen many epic falls in the past year. 

“She’s here! Say hi Blue!” Lance held up Blue to the camera, excitement coming off him in waves. How he could be so energetic with no sleep confused Keith to no ends. Blue, looking disturbed that they couldn’t sleep anymore, let out a wrangled meow before quickly wriggling out of Lance’s hands and jumping onto the desk, settling down to go to sleep. 

“The complete opposite of me, eh? Can fall asleep anywhere, anytime,” Lance said softly, watching Blue with such endearment that Keith’s breath hitched in his throat. It suddenly hit him how immensely intimate these skype calls were. Keith had seen sides of Lance that Hunk had probably  _ never  _ seen. 

“Have you been having nightmares again?” Keith asked after a few minutes of comfortable silence, hesitant but he had to know. The bags under Lance’s eyes had become more prominent as the minutes ticked by. Lance gave him a tight lipped smile which meant ‘ _ yes’,  _ it meant ‘ _ yes please help me I’m drowning and my mind is the endless water’ _ . 

“Don’t worry, I’m here,” Keith murmured, slowly laying a hand against the screen. 

“Are you really?” Lance asked bitterly, barking out a laugh. The comment stung, but Keith knew that Lance got especially bad around this time. It was at these godforsaken hours that Lance would stop taking his meds and let himself go. And Keith was the only support he had right now because he knew Lance wouldn’t wake Hunk even if it meant he was stuck forever in a sea of despair. 

“I should go. Go back to sleep niño bonito,” Lance’s hoarse voice crackled through the speakers before the screen went dark. Keith numbly stared at his laptop before shutting it down and climbing back into bed. That night, he dreamt of a boy with coffee colored skin and a sea of constellations that thrummed under his skin. 

  
  
  


_ [ 6:17 pm ]  _

 

**Sir Lancelot:** IM OFFICIALLY CANCELLING THE BEING KNOWN AS KEITH 

**here come dat pidge:** this is like the thousandth time youve said that in this chat

**McHunk:** kind of lost its effect by now 

**Space Daddy** **™:** what did he do this time 

**here come dat pidge:** why did u ask 

**here come dat pidge:** now he’ll never shut u p 

**Sir Lancelot:** HE DARED TO SAY HES A BETTER CAT CUDDLER THAN I AM 

**keitharoni:** THATS BECAUSE I AM YOU FOOL 

**Sir Lancelot:** hOW FUCKING DARE YOU ??? YOU DIDNT EVEN LIKE CATS A WEEK AGO 

**keitharoni:** DOESNT MATTER I STILL CUDDLE MY CAT BETTER THAN YOU 

**Sir Lancelot:** NUH UH 

**keitharoni:** UH HUH

**Sir Lancelot:** NUH UH 

**keitharoni:** _ UH HUH  _

**Sir Lancelot:** _ NUH UH  _

**keitharoni:** _ U H  H U H  _

**Sir Lancelot:** _ N U H  H U H  _

**here come dat pidge:** FOR FUCKS SAKE WHERE IS UR GUYS’ OFF SWITCH 

**Space mom:** *grabs popcorn* continue keith, lance 

**Space Daddy** **™:** CHILDREN STOP FIGHTING 

**Space Daddy** **™:** I expected better Allura 

**Sir Lancelot:** …...yes dad 

**keitharoni:** yes dad…..

**Sir Lancelot:** DID YOU DO THAT ON PURPOSE U FUCK 

**keitharoni:** STOP COPYING ME YOU SHIT 

**Space Daddy** **™:** C H I L D R E N 

**Sir Lancelot:** s o rry 

**keitharoni:** yeah, sorry 

**here come dat pidge:** thank god we have shiro 

**McHunk:** now i get to deal with a sulky lance 

**McHunk:** g r e a t

**here come dat pidge:** good 

**Space mom:** luck

**Stache:** these youngins, gettin riled up over everything 

 

_ Space Daddy _ _ ™ is now offline  _

 

_ McHunk is now offline  _

 

_ Space mom is now offline  _

 

_ Stache is now offline  _

 

**Sir Lancelot:** this isnt over keithy boy 

**keitharoni:** fuck u noodle 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Dios, tu culo está fuera de este mundo" means "God, your ass is out of this world" or so (roughly) btw !! I don't know spanish so don't drag me <3 tumblr @ plumsakusa and twitter @ spacedaddio


	4. Neon Pink Briefs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> memetron squad's favorite pasttime : dragging lance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've gotten so many kudos I'm crying !!! AND this morning i woke up to like 20 comments that were all so kind and funny and amazing and sweet and a few tears rolled down my face fuck !!! you guys are the best I cry every day :')
> 
> // also keith calls lance noodle bc of how tall and gangly that dork is

 

**Stache >>> ** **Space Daddy** **™, Space mom, Sir Lancelot, McHunk, here come dat pidge, and keitharoni**

 

_ October 3rd  _

 

_ [ 10:30 am ]  _

  
  


**Stache:** have you guys heard of the Daiba School? 

**Sir Lancelot:** pfft yeah I went last year w Hunk 

**Sir Lancelot:** it wasnt much 

**McHunk:** you held my hand the entire time lance 

**McHunk:** and u jumped into my arms when u heard a bush rustle on the way home

**McHunk:** it was a bunny 

**Sir Lancelot:** HUNK THAT IS CONFIDENTIAL INFORMATION 

**keitharoni:** Daiba school???? 

**keitharoni:** aw is little lancey scared

**Space mom:** its a haunted house type thing in Tokyo 

**Sir Lancelot:** shut up mullet youve never even been 

**Sir Lancelot:** so ofc u dont know how fuckggin scary it truly is 

**keitharoni:** pls u were probably pissing ur pants over some guy dressed in bed sheets

**Sir Lancelot:** EXCUSE ME?? 

**Sir Lancelot:** I, THE GREATEST KNIGHT 

**Sir Lancelot:** IS SCARED OF N O T H I N G 

**Sir Lancelot:** YOU HEAR ME????? 

**here come dat pidge:** stop its too early for all caps 

**Space Daddy** **™:** pidge its 10:39 

**here come dat pidge:** ur point being??? TOO EARLY !!! the right time is after 12 

**here come dat pidge:** and even thats pushin it 

**here come dat pidge:** i prefer around 2 pm 

**keitharoni:** Lance literally no one would be scared of u 

**keitharoni:** ur a bag of bones that's just tall 

**keitharoni:** smh u might scare a baby or smtjng but theyd prob just laugh at u 

**Sir Lancelot:** literally so r00d 

**Sir Lancelot:** the worst 

**Sir Lancelot:** if ur going to be lik this 

**keitharoni:** damn it lance dont d o it 

**Sir Lancelot:** goodbye u dicktoast 

**keitharoni:** L A N C E 

 

_ Sir Lancelot has removed keitharoni from this conversation  _

 

**here come dat pidge:** REKT 

**Space mom:** D E S T R O Y E D 

**McHunk:** THE SAVAGEST OF THE SAVAGE 

**Stache:** an amazing show of manliness 

**Sir Lancelot:** ladies and gentlemen, 

**Sir Lancelot:** today we have rid ourselves 

**Sir Lancelot:** of a destructive virusu 

**Sir Lancelot:** HASTA LA VISTA YOU MIERDA 

**Space Daddy** **™:** _ Lance  _

**Space Daddy** **™:** add him back in 

**Sir Lancelot:**  but d a D 

**here come dat pidge:** let him suffer 

**Space mom:** just for a bit longer 

**McHunk:** its not doing any harm 

**Space Daddy** **™:** CHILDREN 

**Sir Lancelot:** f i nE T^T 

 

_ Sir Lancelot has added keitharoni to this conversation  _

 

**keitharoni:** finally 

**keitharoni:** Lance u piece of shit im gon fight u 

**Sir Lancelot:** TRY ME H O E 

**keitharoni:** square up bitch 

**Space mom:** fight fight 

**here come dat pidge:** FIGHT FIGHT 

**McHunk:** _ fight fight  _

**Stache:** ill be taking bets 

**McHunk:** i put $5 on Keith 

**Sir Lancelot:** huuuuuunk wHY 

**McHunk:** srry buddy he could beat ur ass any day 

**Space Daddy** **™:** children 

**Space Daddy** **™:** going back to Daiba school—why do u ask coran? 

**Stache:** well since halloween is coming up soon 

**Space mom:** we thought itd be fun for the squad to go together on Halloween night !!! 

**Sir Lancelot:** holy shit 

**keitharoni:** ill go 

**keitharoni:** blackmail material for when lance shits himself bc of ghosts 

**Sir Lancelot:** u piece of s hit i wont get scareed 

**Sir Lancelot:** but yeah im down tokyo is only an hour n a half away from me n hunk 

**here come dat pidge:** can yall pick me up on the way 

**here come dat pidge:** my crap ass bro took the car w/ him for vacay 

**McHunk:** yeah we can grab u 

**Space Daddy** **™:** hm ye im free 

**Stache:** so erreyone is agreed? we can fig out times closer to halloween 

**keitharoni:** cool cool lance make sure to buy some diapers 

**Sir Lancelot:** im going to fhcjibg kill u this is tthe end count ur prayers u poo 

**keitharoni:** f ake ass hoe 

**Sir Lancelot:** IM NOT FAKE 

**Sir Lancelot:** UR FAKE 

**Sir Lancelot:** U PIECE OF SHIT 

**Space mom:** YAY SQUAD MEET UP 

**Space mom:** i have to blog about this and make ur followers jealous lance 

**Sir Lancelot:** my dollowers??? jelly??? 

**here come dat pidge:** dollowers

**Stache:** dollowers 

**keitharoni:** dollowers 

**Space Daddy** **™:** dollowers 

**Space mom:** dollowers 

**McHunk:** dollowers 

**Sir Lancelot:** S T O P ILL CRY 

**Space mom:** yes apparently everhone wants to meet the master artist 

**Sir Lancelot:** well i sell djs and go to cons they can just meet me there ???? 

**keitharoni:** aw w lancey boy has a fan base 

**Sir Lancelot:** oye dont call me that 

**keitharoni:** u call me keithy boy u fuck 

  
  


_ [ 7:45 pm ]  _

  
  


**Space Daddy** **™:** the first time i met Lance was at a con 

**Sir Lancelot:** god that was s O embarrassing  dont remind me =.= 

**here come dat pidge:** what happened 

**here come dat pidge:** i havetng heard this story 

**Space mom:** neither of us have !!! 

**Space mom:** S P I L L SHIRO 

**Sir Lancelot:** PL E A SE SPARE ME DAD 

**Space Daddy** **™:** its too late 

**keitharoni:** knlwing Lance he probably flirted w/ shiro 

**here come dat pidge:** sounds like him 

**Space Daddy** **™:** so lance was running around at the con hotel at 4 am??? he needed to do extra signings on some shirts he was giving away??? 

**Space mom:** go on 

**Space Daddy** **™:** and he left his hotel room wearing only the tiniest 

**keitharoni:** o dear god 

**Space Daddy** **™:** neon pink briefs that say call me on the back in glitter 

**keitharoni:** OH GOD 

**Sir Lancelot:** wHY 

**Space Daddy** **™:** and i walked out of my room to go for my run to see lances ass walking towards me ??? he was walking backwards at a frightening speed 

**here come dat pidge:** im howling Lance ur such a mE S S 

**Space Daddy** **™:** and then lance fucking trips on AIR and falls into me, and basically i met lances ass before i met him 

**Sir Lancelot:** IT WAS THW WORST OK I DIDNT WANT OUR FIRST MEETING TO GO LIKE THIS 

**Space Daddy** **™:** and then he turns around n is like “holy shit ur that hot guy i follow on tumblr” 

**Space Daddy** **™:** AND THEN I RECOGNIZED HIM TOO AND IT GOT EVEN MORE AWKWARD 

**Sir Lancelot:** he said that i was the tall guy who posted memes and i was like?? p accurate 

**Space Daddy** **™:** i think we stared at each other awkwardly in that position for like 5 min

**Space mom:** IM DYING I CANT BELIEVE THIS LANCE HKW DO U EVEN FUCK UP SO BAD 

**McHunk:** LANCE U NEVER TOLD ME THIS 

**McHunk:** NOW I KNOW WHY U CAME BACK TO TJE ROOM ALL BLUSHING AND LOOKING EMBARRASSED 

**here come dat pidge:** lance ur literally a walking meme u need to calm down 

**Sir Lancelot:** U THINK I ASKED FOR THIS?? @ GOD W H Y 

**keitharoni:** he's punishing u for ur bad deeds 

**Sir Lancelot:** WHAT BAD DEEDS?? I HAVE DONE NOTHING WRONG 

**McHunk:** in eight grade u released wasps into a teacher u hated’s room and locked her in there 

**here come dat pidge:** HOLY SHIT WHAT 

**Space mom:** IM WHEEZING LANCE WHY WOUKD U DO THAT 

**Space Daddy** **™:** im disappointed yet oddly proud 

**McHunk:** in senior year u made me hack into the speakers and gave the school a 2 hour long speech on everhone u hated and all the juicy gossip that floated around ??? 

**McHunk:** YOU TOLD THE WHOLE SCHOOL THAT OUR CHEM TEACHER FUCKED THE PRINCIPAL DURING SCHOOL HOURS 

**keitharoni:** LANCE WHY DO U DO THIS 

**Sir Lancelot:** look hs was a wild time 

**Sir Lancelot:** IM A LOT CALMER NOW 

**McHunk:** two weeks ago you started a food fight in the cafeteria 

**Sir Lancelot:** ok thats bc Muriel didn't give me enough potatoes when i asked for them 

**Sir Lancelot:** whats good Muriel 

**Sir Lancelot:** that old hag 

**Stache:** idk if I should laugh or srsly wonder if ur brain is working right 

**Space mom:** that's my son! go lancelot 

**Sir Lancelot:** THANK YOU 

**Sir Lancelot:** sO M E on E appreciates me valiant efforts 

**keitharoni:** valiant??????? dont make me laugh 

**Space Daddy** **™:** smh lance get your shit together 

**Sir Lancelot:** dad how could u 

**here come dat pidge:** OH SHIT HE DID THAT 

**McHunk:** YOU TELL HIM DA D - O 

**keitharoni:** DRAG HIM

**Stache:** the Lance era has come to an end 

**Sir Lancelot:** WHY IS THIS ENTIRE CHAT JUST U GUYS DRAGGING ME 

**keitharoni:** bc u FCK up the most gloriously out of all of us 

**here come dat pidge:** it's true 

**here come dat pidge:** im thinking of starting a book with all ur fuck ups in it 

**McHunk:** that already exists 

**McHunk:** ive scrap booked every horrible thing that Lance has done or dragged me into 

**Space mom:** holy shit 

**Space Daddy** **™:** bring it when we meet up 

**keitharoni:** it must be hundreds of pages long 

**keitharoni:** lance fucks up a lot 

**Sir Lancelot:** im deleting myself why must i be dragged 

**here come dat pidge:** good delete urself adios 

**keitharoni:** bye bitch 

**McHunk:** bake me some cakes b4 u go 

**Space mom:** ill play ur dumb shrek song at ur funeral 

**Stache:** ill construct an amazing coffin 

**Space Daddy** **™:** ill give the speech rest in peace 

**Sir Lancelot:** YALL R THE WORST 

**Sir Lancelot:** WHY THE FUCK AM I FRIENDS WITH U GUYS 

**keitharoni:** bc we have too much blackmail material on you? 

**here come dat pidge:** we’re cooler than you? 

**Space mom:** im prettier than you? 

**Space Daddy** **™:** you need someone to keep you in check? 

**McHunk:** you live with me and I cook your food? 

**Stache:** i fix all your things for you? 

**Sir Lancelot:** b y e 

**Sir Lancelot:** r00d 

**Sir Lancelot:** i regret starting Pluto protection squad 

**Space mom:** hey! don't say that 

**Space mom:** I recruited a girl named Nyma at my college she loves pluto now 

**McHunk:** our gov teacher said Pluto is fake 

**Sir Lancelot:** FUCKING MR ZARKON WITH A PERMANENT STCIK UP HIS ASS I S2G 

**here come dat pidge:** kill him 

**keitharoni:** kill him 

**McHunk:** lance put eye drops in his coffee last week 

**Sir Lancelot:** he sporadically threw up the entire evening :) 

**Space mom:** im so proud of you 

**here come dat pidge:** thats the Lance we kno 

**keitharoni:** for once u acted smartly 

**Space Daddy** **™:** am I the only one who disapproves of this smh 

**Stache:** yes 

**here come dat pidge:** in other news my teacher asked me what i have in my pants when i asked for they/them pronouns 

**Sir Lancelot:** K I L L THEM 

**Space Daddy** **™:** what did u tel them??? 

**Space mom:** ILL FIGHT THEM WHO THE HECKLES 

**Stache:** thats horrible im disgusted who in their right mind 

**keitharoni:** lance ill help u kill them 

**McHunk:** who dares to talk to my pidgeot that way

**here come dat pidge:** i told him i have science in my pants and pulled the plastic beaker I always carry on me out of my pants 

**Sir Lancelot:** s a v a g e 

**keitharoni:** rekt 

**Space mom:** u show him !!! 

**here come dat pidge:** my entire English class started clapping its my greatest moment in college 

**McHunk:** im so proud ;_; 

**Space Daddy** **™:** good job pidge put them in their place 

**McHunk:** uh Lance are u ok 

**Sir Lancelot:** why yes I am why do u ask kind sir 

**keitharoni:** God what did he do this time 

**Space mom:** this should be entertaining 

**McHunk:** hes been sitting in the splits for 20 min now ???? 

**here come dat pidge:** PICS OR IT DIDNT HAPPEN 

 

_ McHunk has attached a photo >>> LanceInSplits.png  _

 

**Stache:** _ how  _

**keitharoni:** one time during a call he jumped off his bed and into the splits 

**keitharoni:** i still remember the horrifying sound of his pants ripping 

**Sir Lancelot:** l o o k 

**Sir Lancelot:** that was a misT A KE

**Space mom:** IM CRGIBG LANCE MAKES IT LOOK SO NORMAL 

**Sir Lancelot:** not my fault im flexible 

**keitharoni:** this is the farthest i can do my splits 

 

_ keitharoni has attached a photo >>> FuckIt.png  _

 

**here come dat pidge:** keith,,,,,,,,,,,,,buddy,,, 

**Space Daddy** **™:** at least you tried? 

**Sir Lancelot:** YOURE LIKE 2 FEET OFF THE GROUND 

**keitharoni:** well excuse me not everhone is a fucking pretzel like u 

**McHunk:** ye lance is rlly flexible its p cool 

**Sir Lancelot:** yeah ;) its ;) pretty ;) cool ;) 

**Stache:** lance dont 

**here come dat pidge:** _ no Lance  _

**keitharoni:** what??? 

**Sir Lancelot:** my flexibility 

**Sir Lancelot:** is 

**Sir Lancelot:** pretty 

**Sir Lancelot:** handy 

**Sir Lancelot:** in 

 

_ Space mom has removed Sir Lancelot from this chat  _

  
  


**keitharoni:** whyd u remove him 

**keitharoni:** not that i mind but 

**keitharoni:** what was so bad about what he was going to say 

**here come dat pidge:** keith 

**here come dat pidge:** b u d d y ur so innocent 

**Space Daddy** **™:** why is Lance always disappointing me 

**Space mom:** im s o done 

**McHunk:** i have to deal with everyday 

**McHunk:** 24/7 

**here come dat pidge:** sending som quick prayers ur way hunk 

**Stache:** me too how do u survive 

**McHunk:** lance is sitting on my back and wont leave me alone till he's added back in 

**McHunk:** pls save me 

**Space Daddy** **™:** oNLY if he promises to stop those 

**Space mom:** VULGAR JOKES 

**McHunk:** he says “.........FINE” 

 

_ Space mom has added Sir Lancelot to this conversation  _

 

**Sir Lancelot:** r00d 

**Space Daddy** **™:** get over it

**keitharoni:** o shit 

**here come dat pidge:** im heading off to sleep bc I haven't slept in 3 days 

**Space mom:** gn pidge!! 

**Stache:** night ! 

**Sir Lancelot:** sleep tight little one 

**here come dat pidge:** fuck u 

**keitharoni:** night 

**McHunk:** have a goodo sleep !! ^^ 

**Space Daddy** **™:** have good dreams pidge ~ 

 

_ here come dat pidge is now offline  _

 

**McHunk:** are we still going out for dinner Lance? 

**Sir Lancelot:** ye im too lazy to cook 

**keitharoni:** u don't even cook 

**Space mom:** we all know hunk cooks the actual meals and fixes everything in the house

**Sir Lancelot:** yeahh whtever NKT my fault he's sooooper smart 

**keitharoni:** pls 

**keitharoni:** for the l o v e of god 

**keitharoni:** GET YOURSELF A DICTIONARY 

**keitharoni:** AND SPELL PROPERLY U DICKBAG 

**Sir Lancelot:** :P 

**Sir Lancelot:** gtg burgers r calling my name 

**McHunk:** mine as we ll see u guys l8r 

**Sir Lancelot:** see u l8r sk8r boy 

**Stache:** really 

**Space Daddy** **™:** i should go to, its dinner time 

 

_ Sir Lancelot is now offline  _

 

_ McHunk is now offline  _

 

_ Space Daddy _ _ ™ is now offline  _

  
  


**Stache:** finally 

**Stache:** i can be the memer I've always wanted to be 

**Space mom:** i see u corn 

**Stache:** shit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so theres that !! just wanted to let you know nino bonito roughly means pretty boy so yeah thats what lance has been calling keith ;))))) bc damn that boy is pretty !! updates will be slow next week bc I have debate camp ~ 
> 
> [Tumblr](http://plumsakusa.tumblr.com)
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/spacedaddio)
> 
> if you want to come scream about klance w/ me ^^ or just lance bc that boy is my son


	5. Roast Central

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> keith is emo, lance uses dumb memes, pokemon is discussed, and halloween is coming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let me just say THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING !! I've gotten messages on tumblr and the cutest comments here !! some of my friends have messaged me saying their other friends in the voltron fandom have been recommending my fic to them????? and then they tell me they love me and i cry bc of how happy I am :') hope you enjoy the chapter !!

**Sir Lancelot >>> ** **Space Daddy** **™, Space mom, keitharoni, McHunk, Stache, and here come dat pidge**

  
  


_ October 14th  _

 

_ [ 2:36 am ]  _

  
  


**Sir Lancelot:** THINGS ARE ABOUT TO GET SPOOPY BITCHES 

**here come dat pidge:** please dont say 

**Sir Lancelot:** TIME TO JOIN THE SKELETON W A R 

**keitharoni:** what the fuCK noodle 

**keitharoni:** it is 2 AM YOU SHIT 

**Sir Lancelot:** and u were marathoning haikyuu bc i got u hooked on that shit 

**Sir Lancelot:** so stfu i know ur ass was awake niño bonito

**Space Daddy** **™:** ive already pledged my allegiance to the skeleton war 

**here come dat pidge:** ofc u have 

**here come dat pidge:** ik u n corn are closet memers 

**Sir Lancelot:** HOW COULD U HIDE THIS FROM US 

**here come dat pidge:** …..disgUSTI N G 

**McHunk:** lance can u pls calm down ur making the fan in my room shake 

**McHunk:** also yellow is scared n sitting on my head cuz shes freaked o u t 

**Space mom:** PICS OR IT DIDNT HAPPEEN 

**Stache:** how is yellow doing? how is blue doing? also pidge how do u know i might have to kill you now 

 

_ McHunk has attached a photo >>> ScaredKitten.png _

 

**McHunk:** yes our cats r doing quite well if i do say so myself 

**McHunk:** lance stills takes Blue out on walks 

**Space mom:** aww how adorable !! kitties going on walks !!! 

**keitharoni:** yesteterwrday he almost lost Blue

**here come dat pidge:** look at u go 

**here come dat pidge:** that typo wa s truly a magnificent fuck up 

**keitharoni:** wow didnt think u knew big words like that shorty 

**here come dat pidge:** U WANNA FIGHT THAT BADLY HUH??? 

**keitharoni:** lets go give me ur best 

**here come dat pidge:** U AND UR FUCKASS LITTLE MULLET WHO DO U THINK U R, CHUCK NORRIS???? YOU DONT HOLD A CANDLE TO THAT BADASS MAN WHO COULD PROBABLY DESTROY US ALL WITH HIS PINKY FINGER WHILE EATING SOME GOOD OLE FREEDOM OK AND UR BROODING EMO ASS I BET U WHIPPED OUT THAT MOTHA FUCK I N G EMO ASS EYELINER WHEN U HEARD ABOUT MCR AND I BET 89374980230 DOLLARS U LISTENED TO THEIR OLD TRACKS ALL DAY AND U PROBABLY WONDERED IF IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO BRING UR SCENE HAIR CUT BACK OK AND IF I LOOKED IN UR CLOSET ITS ALL BLACKS, A FEW GRAY AND WHITE TONES BUT THATS IT UR EMO ASS IS DESTROYING UR CLOSET, UR ROOM, UR APARTMENT AND I BET WHEN UR GAY ASS SKYPES AGGRESSIVELY BISEXUAL LANCE U TWO LISTEN TO THAT EMO SHIT A L L NIGHT OK NOW 

**Sir Lancelot:** that was…...life changing holy f u c K 

**Stache:** how r u able to roast so wonderfully at 3 am 

**keitharoni:** i accept my defeat i cant do anything against all that 

**Space mom:** HOLY SHIT THIS WAS WILD FROM START TO FINISH PIDGE U SHOW HIM 

**McHunk:** IM WHEEZING PIDGEOT THAT WAS SA V A G E 

**here come dat pidge:** damn right 

**Sir Lancelot:** i think hunk and i r going into cardiaiicca arrest 

**Space Daddy** **™:** children 

**Space Daddy** **™:** MUST this be what I come back to 

**Space Daddy** **™:** im so disappointed smh when will my children be normal 

**Space Daddy** **™:** @ god are you seeing this shit 

**Space Daddy** **™:** I DESERVE BETTER 

**Stache:** i think my sides hurt from laughing 

**Stache:** the princess dropped her tea she was crying so much 

**keitharoni:** i dont know what i did to deserve this 

**Sir Lancelot:** u daR E D to challenge the GREAT PIDGE 

**here come dat pidge:** think again keithy boy b4 u bring that weak ass roasting into my house 

**keitharoni:** i need to go and rethink all my choices 

**McHunk:** while playing ur emo songs in the background 

**Sir Lancelot:** he once played numb by linkin park on repeat for 5 hours during a call 

**Sir Lancelot:** i was ready to die i wrote my will n everything even picked out a coffin 

**keitharoni:** THAT WAS ONE TIME OK 

**keitharoni:** DROP IT 

**Sir Lancelot:** never 

**Sir Lancelot:** i still have violent flashbacks bc of how many times that damn song played 

**Sir Lancelot:** al so 

**Sir Lancelot:** DROP IT LIKE ITS HOOOOOOT 

**Space mom:** but you still put up with his emo ass 

**Stache:** how adorable 

**Space Daddy** **™:** quite cute ^^

**McHunk:** they are p cute !! 

**here come dat pidge:** gay 

**Space Daddy** **™:** PIDGE

**here come dat pidge:** what? just saying it how it is

**Keitharoni:** will u not leave me alone until u destroy my ass 

**here come dat pidge:** i wont destroy ur ass but lance can ;)))))))

**Space Daddy** **™:** _ pidge  _

**Sir Lancelot:** Me gustaría destruir ese culo

**Sir Lancelot:** FUCK DONT PUT THAT THROUGH GOOGLE TRANSALSA 

**keitharoni:** why? 

**Sir Lancelot:** just pls,,,,,,, dont do i t swear on our broship u wont 

**keitharoni:** fine 

**keitharoni:** ur helping me w/ my creative writing assignment then =_= 

**McHunk:** L AN C E WHY R U LIKE THIS 

**Space mom:** i see how it is ; ) 

**keitharoni:** see how what is?! 

**Space Daddy** **™:** i feel an odd sense of pride in you lance 

**keitharoni:** what in the world are u all talking about 

**Sir Lancelot:** its nothing gtg ha  h a

 

_ Sir Lancelot is now offline  _

 

**keitharoni:** wtf u shit ur supposed to help me w my assignment noodle 

 

_ Keitharoni is now offline  _

  
  


**Stache:** ah……..young love 

**Stache:** truly a beautiful thing 

**Space Daddy** **™:** wonder how long it is before they realize 

**Space mom:** i wish they'd stop being so oblivious smh makes me so mad 

**here come dat pidge:** they r both idiots so itll probably take a while tbh

**McHunk:** i agree 

**McHunk:** Lance is the biggest dumbass I know

**Space mom:** rip in peace 

**here come dat pidge:** w o w 

  
  


_ [ 11:49 am ]  _

  
  


**Sir Lancelot:** b4 hunk and I can do anything else today 

**Sir Lancelot:** we ha V E to find the matter baby 

**keitharoni:** ????? 

**here come dat pidge:** ke I TH 

**Space mom:** DONT 

**keitharoni:** whats the matter baby? 

**Sir Lancelot:** nothing much what's up with you sweetheart? 

**keitharoni:** oh my g OD

**keitharoni:** Lance I fuckinggg hate yOU 

**Sir Lancelot:** not my fault u fell for it  ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**keitharoni:** one day im going to drop kick your ass 

**Sir Lancelot:** ¿por qué no mejor me comes el culo?

**keitharoni:** s to p insultign me in spanish noodle 

**keitharoni:** this counts as harassment 

**here come dat pidge:** calls the cops on his ass

**here come dat pidge:** DO I T

**Space Daddy** **™:** dont do it 

**Space Daddy** **™:** _ lance  _

**Space Daddy** **™:** be nice 

**Sir Lancelot:** n O I WONT 

**McHunk:** o shit 

**Sir Lancelot:** DO U KNOW WHAT HE SAID TO ME TODAY 

**Sir Lancelot:** HE THOUGHT I WAS 

**Sir Lancelot:** FUCKGINGIF TEAM VALOR 

**Sir Lancelot:** L OKOKO HERE BLUE IS CLEARYK THE BEST UR RED ASS CAN GET OUTTA HERE 

**Sir Lancelot:** I ONCE DESTROYED A RED GYM 

**Sir Lancelot:** WITH THESE VERY HANDS

**McHunk:** he did

**McHunk:** it was entertaining to watch 

**keitharoni:** ok let me say one thing 

**keitharoni:** VAL OR IS THE BEST OKAY EVEN IF OUR GYM LEADER IS IN LOVE WITH URS IT DOESNT MATTER WE R THE BES T 

**Sir Lancelot:** i still cant believe the gym leaders r actualy my ot3 

**Space Daddy** **™:** um guys im pretty sure instinct is the best 

**Here come dat pidge:** TEAM INSTINCT FTW HAVE YOU SEEN OUR GYM LEADER???? 

**McHunk:** SPARK IS CLEARLY THE B E S T 

**Space mom:** excuse me??????? 

**Space mom:** hAVE u seen blanche ?? LOOK AT THEM L O O K 

 

_ Space mom has attached a photo >>> LookAtBlancheTheVeryBestCatchThem.png  _

 

**Sir Lancelot:** YES BLANCHE IS TH E BEST I MEAN THEYRE GORGEOUS I CRY ERREDAY

**Space Daddy** **™:** ok first of all 

**Space Daddy** **™:** i am the dad everything i say goes 

**Space Daddy** **™:** and i dub Spark as the BEST gym leader 

**Sir Lancelot:** YOU R ABUSING UR POWER FATHER 

**Space mom:** thats not how ur dad powers work shiro 

**keitharoni:** TEAM VALOR IS WAY BETTER DONT LISTEN TO DAD 

**Stache:** i agree team valor is of high quality 

**eitharoni:** LOOK AT THAT 

**keitharoni:** CORANIC THE MECHANIC DUBS IT SO IT TRUMPS YOU SHIRO 

**McHunk:** lets count the votes shall we 

**McHunk:** 2 for mystic, our resident fuck up and beautiful princess

**Sir Lancelot:** oi r00d af 

**McHunk:** 2 for valor, the emo and stache 

**keitharoni:** im not emo???? smh

**McHunk:** AND THREE FOR INSTINCT OHHHHH YOU’VE BEEN TAKEN DOWN

**here come dat pidge:** YEEEEEE INSTINCT WINS ONCE A G A I N 

**Sir Lancelot:** HUNK THERES A FUCKING SNORLAX IN OUR KITCHEN 

**McHunk:** WHAT HOLD O N 

**McHunk:** IM COMING DONT CATCH IT ILL FIGHT 

**Sir Lancelot:** TOO LATE ITS MINE HAHAH A 

**McHunk:** YOU FUCK UGLY LAMPSHADE ASS I HOPE U CATCH RATTATAS FOR THE REST OF YER LIFE 

**Sir Lancelot:** hunk how could you say that to me 

**here come dat pidge:** O SHIT TROUBLE IN BEST FRIEND PARADISE 

**Sir Lancelot:** I HOPE YOUR POKEMON GO KEEPS SHOWING THAT SERVERS R DOWN 

**keitharoni:** holy shit r e KT 

**McHunk:** lance,,,,,,,,why would u d o this to me,,,,,,

**Space mom:** team msytic :) is :) better :) 

**Space Daddy** **™:** im busting out my dad powers n changing the subject 

**Space Daddy** **™:** should we start making official plans for the time n stuff for meet up??? 

**Sir Lancelot:** IM DRIVING HUNK 

**McHunk:** pls no u almost got us killed last time 

**Sir Lancelot:** ok but that was bc i was getting 

**McHunk:** IK WHAT U WERE GETTING I HEARD BUT I HAD MY EYES CLOSED THE ENTIRE TIME 

**Space mom:** oh my god 

**here come dat pidge:** you dont mean 

**Space Daddy** **™:** with hunk in the back seat?????  _ Lance  _

**Stache:** poor Hunk 

**keitharoni:** what r u guys talking about???? 

**Space mom:** lance dont u tell him 

**here come dat pidge:** TELL HIM I WANT TO SEE HIS REACTION 

**Sir Lancelot:** i was getting a bj ;) 

**keitharoni:** ok i didnt need to know that

**keitharoni:**  i need soap to wash my brain i cant pls save me

**McHunk:** so no we r not letting you drive 

**Sir Lancelot:** my car is better than yours 

**McHunk:** fuck u and ur dumb ass nice looking beautiful shiny ass best engine ever black bmw with those nice beige leather seats and amazing speakers 

**Space Daddy** **™:** are you insutling the car or complimenting it???? 

**McHunk:** both 

**here come dat pidge:** so i already know which car we r using

**keitharoni:** how did u even afford that 

**Sir Lancelot:** i do have an online store you know??? and i have a job??? 

**keitharoni:** oh 

**Sir Lancelot:** smh 

**Stache:** as for timing, id like to meet up earlier but do daiba school late at night 

**Stache:** for the spoops 

**Space mom:** we could meet at a shrine and then head over to harajuku ? and then do daiba school

**Sir Lancelot:** sounds chill 

**keitharoni:** which shrine tho 

**Space Daddy** **™:** Meiji shrine at 12:30? So right around time for lunch

**Space mom:** that works 

**Stache:** splendid 

**keitharoni:** lance have u bought ur diapers yet 

**Sir Lancelot:** fuck u 

**here come dat pidge:** remember to come in costume ur never too old to dress up 

**McHunk:** im gon be a nun so i can shower jesus on all y'alls sinning souls

**keitharoni:** i might go as the red power ranger 

**Space mom:** im thinking of going as katara from atla im so gay for her

**Space Daddy** **™:** im going to be han solo in his glory years 

**here come dat pidge:** is my name a clue for what im going to be 

**Space mom:** YOU ARE NOT COMING AS THAT FROG MEME 

**here come dat pidge:** i am ;)))))))

**here come dat pidge:**  o shit whaddup !!!! 

**Space mom:** fucking hell 

**Stache:** im going to be jack sparrow simply bc that man is wonderful 

**Space Daddy** **™:** what about lance ?? 

**Sir Lancelot:** its a secret ;) 

**McHunk:** he hasnt even told me yet 

**Sir Lancelot:** but i have the costume ^^

**Keitharoni:** if you come stark naked or smthng i swear  _ I _ will call the cops on ur ass 

**Space mom:** after taking blackmail pics of course

**Here come dat pidge:** ofcc

**Here come dat pidge:** and a video

**Space Daddy** **™:** im actually really curious 

**Sir Lancelot:** you guys will just have to wait n see ;)))))))))

**Stache:** im scared 

**keitharoni:** as you should be

**Sir Lancelot:**  ;)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhhh the spanish stuff : 
> 
> Me gustaría destruir ese culo: roughly means "I'd like to destroy that ass" 
> 
> ¿por qué no mejor me comes el culo?: roughly means "How about you eat my ass instead?" 
> 
> hope you enjoyed that !! squad meet up is soon so pls be patient !! 
> 
> [Tumblr](http://plumsakusa.tumblr.com) | [Twitter](https://twitter.com/spacedaddio)


	6. Hips Don't Lie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> pidge is literally a meme, squad finally meets, and keith is having a gay break down (also GASOLINA)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> damn nikhita back at it with them double updates

**Keitharoni >>> ** **Space Daddy** **™, Sir Lancelot, Space mom, here come dat pidge, McHunk, and Stache**

 

_ October 31  _

 

_ [ 7:15 am ]  _

 

**keitharoni:** i literally had to get up so early 

**keitharoni:** so i could get ready n leave 

**McHunk:** i bet u that lance is the most energetic out of all of us 

**Space Daddy** **™:** i dont understand how 

**Space Daddy** **™:** when hes supposed to be insomniac and the night owl 

**Space mom:** ikr like how does that work 

**Stache:** how is he aLSO a morning person 

**here come dat pidge:** fuck mornings honestly 

**here come dat pidge:** i was up late painting my unicycle 

**Space mom:** i hate u i cant believe ur actually going to be a meme

**here to come dat pidge:** to truly be a memer

**here come dat pidge:** you must become the meme

**keitharoni:** wtf that doesnt even make sense

**Sir Lancelot:** whose car r we going to use to drive around? 

**Space mom:** yours 

**Space mom:** duh its the nicest out of all of ours 

**Space Daddy** **™:** true i drive a small echo 

**keitharoni:** and i drive a motorcycle 

**Space mom:** corn and I are taking the train anyways

**Space mom:** bc we literally live like 5 min away

**Sir Lancelot:** well thanks for telling me the decision that was made

**Sir Lancelot:** about my car 

**Space Daddy** **™:** sorry lanc e 

**keitharoni:** im not srry u practically offered up urself a week ago 

**Sir Lancelot:** i wasnt talkin to u, ya poo 

**here come dat pidge:** message me when ur like 10 min away

**McHunk:** at the speed that lance is going to be driving we’ll probably reach u faster than expected 

**McHunk:** an d be the first ones there

**Space Daddy** **™:** how has he not been arrested? 

**Space mom:** didnt he get arrested a year ago 

**Space Daddy** **™:** o yeah! But that was for grinding on a public statue 

**Space Daddy** **™:** i cant believe i actually just typed that 

**Space Daddy** **™:** see what you make me do lance 

**Sir Lancelot:** hey i got 50 bucks outta that

**Sir Lancelot:** im not complaining the company i work for was chill when i told them what happened s o 

**keitharoni:** i cant believe u smh 

**here come dat pidge:** pls get ur shit together lance 

  
  
  


_ [ 9:10 am ]  _

  
  


**Sir Lancelot:** uh guys

**Sir Lancelot:** we might have a problem 

**McHunk:** lance u have not returned from droppin our cats at ur friends yet 

**McHunk:** LANCE DID SOMETHING HAPPEN TO THE CAR 

**here come dat pidge:** LANCE U SHIT THATS MY RIDE 

**Space mom:** oh dear god

**Sir Lancelot:** someonemayhavecrashedmycarfromthebackandnowitsinthemechanicshop

**McHunk:** ohmhygfodooooood 

**McHunk:** lanCE I DRIVE A MOPED WE CANT PICK PIDGE UP IN THAT

**McHunk:** I CANT GO TO TOKYO IN A MOPED L A N CE

**keitharoni:** how do even fuck up that bad 

**Sir Lancelot:** keith? arent u supposed to be driving rn 

**keitharoni:** no i took the train bc i didnt want to fuckin bike a 2 1/2 hour ride

**Sir Lancelot:** pidgeot,,, buddy,,, ur going to have catch the train 

**here come dat pidge:** fuckin hell lance 

**here come dat pidge:** fine ill take the damn train but ill meet u guys @ my station 

**McHunk:** NOW WE HAVE TO TAKE THE TRAIN TOO 

**McHunk:** where r u anyways??? we should get leaving soon

**Sir Lancelot:** im going upstairs

**McHunk:** hurry up

**Sir Lancelot:** im coming u shit 

**Space Daddy** **™:** remember to bring money!! 

**Space Daddy** **™:** and wear ur costume :’) 

**here come dat pidge:** how could i forget 

**here come dat pidge:** i spent so long on this beautiful piece of art 

**Space mom:** the one im curious about is lances 

**Stache:** princess u look splendid 

**Stache:** several little children have come up to her 

**Stache:** and asked her to waterbend 

**Space Daddy** **™:** aww how adorable 

**Space Daddy** **™:** ive been waving my lightsaber around 

**Sir Lancelot:** ohohohoho? ur light saber eh? ;))))))

**Space mom:** lance u perv 

**Sir Lancelot:** ;))))))

**McHunk:** shut up and put ur damn costume on i want to see it 

**Sir Lancelot:** ok ok im done !! 

**Space mom:** wHAT IS IT 

**keitharoni:** im kind of curious too 

**here come dat pidge:** its probabl  y some dumb pun 

**McHunk:** OHMYGOFD LANCE 

**McHunk:** HE ACTUALLY LOOKS SO GOOD???? FUCK 

**Space Daddy** **™:** now i have to know what the heck 

**here come dat pidge:** ILL BE THE FIRST TO KNOW CUZ ILL SEE U ON THE TRAIN 

**keitharoni:** FUCK i want to know what his costume is u little shit 

**Sir Lancelot:** alrighithtyy we r officially leaving the apartment 

**Sir Lancelot:** see u fuckers in a bit 

**keitharoni:** ill have u know wearing a power ranger suit was a mistake 

**keitharoni:** im def not wearing this dumb helmet 

**here come dat pidge:** im enjoying this morph suit a bit too much 

**Space mom:** corn keeps twirling his beard and i cant stop laughiNG 

**Space Daddy** **™:** ive been requested by many tiny children to pose with them for photos 

**Space Daddy** **™:** i am the official han solo of tokyo, japan 

**Sir Lancelot:** the hero Tokyo deserves 

**here come dat pidge:** the meme is leavin n ow 

**Space mom:** come fast !! corn n I decided to bring our car bc lances is out of commision 

**keitharoni:** ur our savior allura 

**Space Daddy** **™:** i cant believe lances car got hit tho 

**Stache:** neither can we 

  
  
  


Pidge was standing at the subway in their neighborhood, waiting for the train they knew was going to roll up any second now, holding two of their closest friends. It was a cold day and the spookiness of Halloween was in the air; it was the kind of day that made you want to grab a flashlight and sit with some friends while sharing ghost stories. Pidge looked around, a smile automatically gracing their lips when they saw all the people scattered around the station in Halloween costumes. A lot of parades, especially in the neighborhood of Shibuya and Tokyo, were happening today, so everyone was out and about. Finally, the train rolled up. 

Pidge ran into the train, eyes lighting up when they spied Hunk standing over by the end of the cart, hands flying around as they talked to presumably Lance. They walked over, quietly tapping Hunk on the shoulder and waiting for his reaction. 

A surprised Hunk turned around, grinning widely and picking up Pidge immediately, nearing crushing them. Pidge let out a strangled shriek, returning the grin when Hunk put them down. Pidge looked around Hunk to see Lance, nearly choking in surprise. No wonder he had kept his costume secret. And damn, Hunk was right; Lance did look pretty good. 

“Like what you see?” Lance asked, wiggling his eyebrows at Pidge, who simply rolled their eyes with a flippant, “Yeah, yeah, whatever.” Lance chuckled, ruffling Pidge’s hair (he knew they hated that). 

“Our favorite meme has come to meme up Tokyo.” 

“Lance might out meme you in chats, but you out meme him in appearance.” 

“I’ll give you that o Little One.” 

“Do you want to fight that bad?”

“Keith is going to  _ love  _ your costume,” Pidge said, smirking as they gave Lance a look over. Hunk snorted, crossing his hands over his chest as he nodded. 

“Damn right he will. I mean, shit. Fuck, I’m a nun, I can’t cuss,” Hunk blurted out, eyes wide in shock as curse after curse tumbled out of his mouth. Their laughter echoed as the train sped away, bringing the three closer and closer to their destination.

  
  
  


Fuck.  _ Fuck.  _ **_Fuck._ ** Keith’s brain seemed to have stop working as he gaped at Lance. His mind was blank and the word fuck just played on repeat. His breathing had sped up somewhere along the way, and it felt like his heart would beat right out of his chest. It must be illegal to look this good. 

Lance was wearing the sexy cop Halloween costume but for males and  _ fuck,  _ Hunk was right, he looked good. The top five or six buttons were open, baring his sun kissed skin out to the world, and the blue shirt was impossibly tight. Keith could see Lance’s teasing eyes behind the aviator sun glasses he wore, and the smirk curling his lips upwards made Keith feel some way. It didn’t help that Lance was wearing tight navy pants as well, and Keith was bound to have a heart attack when he saw the back. A pair of handcuffs jingled on his waist, and Keith almost passed out then and there when Lance quickly turned around, giving Keith a glimpse of his ass. Keith knew he was staring but he couldn’t stop, and as the seconds passed, his face got hotter and hotter. He didn’t notice that Lance was staring right back at him, or the giggles that were erupting from the others. 

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer.” Keith’s face erupted in flames when Lance finally took off his aviators, shooting him that signature smirk that could make  _ anyone  _ fall for him. Hell, Keith wouldn’t be surprised if Lance has taken grandmas and grandpas out on dates before. 

“Riiiiiiiiiiiight. So, we’re taking my car! Everyone scooch in!” Allura announced, quickly shooing everyone into the large, black SUV she and Coran had arrived in. 

Keith’s face flared up again when he was unceremoniously shoved against Lance in the middle by Pidge, who shot him a shit eating grin before climbing in next to Shiro. Keith’s entire body felt warm, especially where his thigh and shoulders were pressed up against Lance’s. His whole side felt like it was aflame and Keith desperately needed some water to put it out  _ because being close to someone this fucking gorgeous and amazingly hot couldn’t be healthy for him fuck fuck.  _

“On the train ride here this old granny was flirting with me,” Lance begin, much to the annoyed groans of everyone in the car. They had heard thousands of these ridiculous stories, and in the beginning no one thought it could have  _ possibly  _ been real. But after Hunk filmed one of these happenings, they all begrudgingly accepted it; Lance was  _ insanely  _ charming. 

“What’d she do, knit you a woolen dildo?” Pidge asked, snorting when Lance wiggled his eyebrows at them with a smirk. 

“ _ Please  _ tell me you were kind to the old lady,” Shiro said weakly, already feeling a headache coming on. He didn’t think he could handle discourse so soon into their meet up. 

“What line did you use on her?” Allura asked, her english accent instantly calming everyone in the car. It was an odd skill she had; Allura could calm anything with her voice, and Keith suddenly understood why Lance had fallen in love with her during their first group call. 

“Please don’t. It’s so embarrassing,” Hunk groaned, their head dropping into their hands. Keith chuckled; he knew Lance had a knack for using pick up lines that were so bad they were good. They were like automatic cringers, but could put a smile on anyone he told them to. 

“You better call Life Alert, 'cause I've fallen for you and I can't get up.” More groans erupted in the car, making Lance cackle with pride. Keith smiled gently, admiring the crinkle lines around Lance’s eyes that he got from smiling so much. Keith knew Lance had his bad days, where he was stuck in a pool of depression and he couldn’t crack a single smile no matter how hard he tried. But he had his good days as well, and looks like today would be one of them.

“I can’t believe you actually said that to an old lady,” Shiro bemoaned, shaking his head as he tried to hide the smile creeping onto his lips. Lance grinned, slapping Shiro on the back good heartedly, eventually coaxing a laugh out of the man. 

“First of all, Pidge,” Allura started, briefly looking back at them before her eyes returned to the road, “that costume is an abomination.” 

“Oye! I spent a lot of time on this. It’s my child,” Pidge said in with a sense of finality, clutching the unicycle close to their chest before softly whispering, “here come dat boi.” 

“O shit whaddup,” Keith, Lance, Hunk, Shiro,  _ and  _ Coran whispered back simultaneously, heads whipping around to face each other as incredulous eyes met. Allura nearly screamed, almost running through a red light as she hit the accelerator. 

“I will kick you all out of this fucking car so you have to walk to the international cuisine place.” 

“You wouldn’t,” Shiro said, turning his puppy eyes to the unrelenting back of Allura’s head. She didn’t even turn around, simply slowing down a bit, the car edging towards the sidewalk. 

“Try me.” 

Keith laughed at the crestfallen look on Shiro’s face, still laughing when Shiro turned a betrayed look on him. Lance’s laughter joined in with his and  _ damn it this is the end for his gay little heart because hoo boy that laugh is piercing my heart and fuck how do I make him laugh more?  _ Keith abruptly stopped laughing, turning away to gaze outside so he could hide his flushed face from Lance’s inquisitive stares. 

“So I finally listened to Gasolina because of Lance’s begging and oh my god,” Allura shivered, the song already playing in her mind. Lance’s laughter broke her trail of thoughts and she quickly glared at him. 

“Gasolina? Isn' that the fucking Spanish song you’re always playing during calls,” Keith turned suddenly, eyebrows raised at Lance who looked like he was going to piss himself from laughing too much any instant. 

“God don’t get him started. I’ve heard that song so many times,  _ I  _ can sing every lyric,” Hunk spoke up, aiming a weak punch at Lance who dodged it, still laughing. Keith felt his blood run cold when he saw a conspiring spark lit up in Lance’s eyes moments after glancing in Shiro’s direction. 

“Do you think Shiro would get mad if I stood up in the middle of the restaurant and started singing Gasolina?” Lance asked, his voice dropping to whisper as he leaned in  _ way  _ too close to Keith. He almost forgot to reply, Keith was focusing so hard on keeping his breathing steady as Lance’s bare neck that looked very enticing came closer and closer to him. 

“Hm?” Keith looked at him dumbly before Lance’s words registered with him. “Lance! No, he’ll  _ kill  _ you,” Keith hissed, looking at the smirking man in worry. Shiro would kill him, then bring him back to life because he couldn’t handle the guilt, and then he would kill Lance all over again when he remembered how embarrassing he had been. 

“Fine, fine, I won’t do it,” Lance whispered back, but the little spark still stayed in his eyes. Keith gulped, laying a hand over his heart and willing it to stop racing. Staying so close to Lance was  _ definitely  _ bad for his health. 

  
  
  


They were currently eating at a large, bustling restaurant that served all types of cuisine: American, Japanese, Greek, etc. Anything you wanted you could find here. Keith found the loud noises and the never ending sight of chefs and waiters running about the restaurant oddly calming. Keith himself had ordered a plate of Korean bbq, missing the tangy taste of the food he used to eat back at home. 

Shiro’s eyes had almost bugged out of his head when they all saw how much food Pidge had gotten; it was enough to feed an army. And then Shiro nearly died when Lance returned with a heaping plate full of enchiladas, tacos, burritos, fajitas, and god knows what else. Keith chuckled, watching the thin man shovel it all into his mouth, barely pausing in between gulps. 

“Relax Lance. You’re practically inhaling the food,” Allura said with a smile, patting Lance on the back roughly when he had started to choke (Keith personally thought hitting him that hard may kill him because everyone knew Allura was super strong). Keith’s eyes unconsciously followed Lance’s every move, and soon enough, he felt Pidge and Coran’s presence by his sides. 

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer buddy,” Pidge whispered, smirking at the glare Keith shot him. 

“I do say you should confess during this trip,” Coran told him, eyes never leaving his plate of some weird looking goo that he slowly cut with a knife and fork. 

“N-no. I can’t,” Keith responded, glancing at Lance who was now attempting to fit an entire taco in his mouth much to the chagrin of Shiro. Why did he love that stupid, beautiful, annoying, amazingly kind, shitty, incredibly funny idiot?  _ Why?  _

Keith looked up again at Lance only to be met with an empty chair and a confused Shiro looking at the empty seat. 

“Where’d Lance go?” 

“I don’t know. He just finished eating all of his food before quickly running away in the direction of the kitchen,” Pidge said, eyebrows scrunched up in confusion. They adjusted their glasses, taking a bite of their strawberry shortcake in the process. 

“Does he know someone here?” Hunk asked, an eyebrow cocked as he glanced around the restaurant like the answer to his question would magically eyebrow. Keith furrowed his eyebrows, thinking. It suddenly hit him and a loud groan burst forth from him. 

“You know something, don’t you?” Allura all but stated, narrowing her eyes at the increasingly disheartening vibes that Keith was sending. He had slouched in his seat, running a hand through his hair. Lance wouldn’t—would he? Keith’s worst fears were confirmed when the beginning beat to Gasolina started playing obnoxiously loudly over the speakers.  _ Oh no.  _

The five of them looked at each other in horror as an enthusiastic Lance sprinted out of the kitchen doors, dragging two other chefs with the same tanned skin as his, the biggest shit eating grin on his face, which was mirrored on the other chefs. Keith glanced around the restaurant, a surprised look appearing on his face when several other people had started singing along to the song. 

Lance had grabbed the people who had been mouthing the words, pulling them into a large dancing circle that had somehow started in the middle of the restaurant. Keith couldn’t help but laugh, which set off the rest of their table. Shiro was smiling, while Allura had her phone whipped out. Coran was chuckling, fingers tapping out the tune to Gasolina on the table. Looks like he wasn’t the only one coerced into listening to the damn song. 

It was coming up to the chorus soon and Keith couldn’t take his eyes off of Lance’s swaying hips as he danced around the entire restaurant, pulling people off all ages into the crowd of people dancing. Lance swung a little girl through the air, smiling so widely that his cheeks  _ must  _ hurt. Keith watched the whole debacle with avid interest; Lance’s simple presence seemed to drag people. They hadn’t even been here before and the whole restaurant was enraptured with Lance.

Keith licked his lips, watching Lance's hips gyrate, side to side, up and down. It seemed like he did it on purpose, just to entice Keith, who was growing weaker and weaker with every movement of his hips.  _Damn,_ _those hips do not lie._

_ “ _ _ ¡ _ _ A ella le gusta la gasolina!”  _ Keith watched in amusement as Lance practically screamed the lyrics, the crowd echoing them back.  _ “ _ _ ¡ _ _ Dame mas gasolina!”  _ There was something just so fucking attractive at the way spanish seemed to roll of Lance’s lips, like it belonged there. Like  _ he  _ belonged there. 

_ “ _ _ ¡COMO LE ENCANTA LA GASOLINA!”  _ Lance had run up to him at this point, still singing along loudly to the lyrics, and Keith spluttered as Lance pulled him up, intertwining their hands. Keith could have  _ maybe  _ handled dancing with a normal Lance, but with sexy cop Lance? Nope. He was hay wiring; his brain felt like it had fried. Keith gasped, unable to do anything as he was spun around by a grinning Lance. 

It was a whirlwind of bodies, everything was blurry except for Lance’s face. It was flushed, and sweat had beaded on his forehead, his neck slick with sweat. Keith resisted the urge to run his lips against Lance’s neck and bite into tha —  _ stop that!  _

It was finally coming up to the rap part. Keith had never heard Lance rap this certain part, and against his better wishes, he suddenly felt an overwhelming urge to hear the rapid Spanish fall from Lance’s rosy lips. It was finally here and Keith watched in amazement as Lance sang along with each word in perfect harmonization. 

_ “ _ _ ¡ _ _ Subele el mambo pa' que mis gatas prendan los motores!”  _ Lance said this two more times, eyes closed in glee as his lips moved at a frighteningly fast pace and spinning the two of them around.  Keith felt Lance's arms link around his waist, pulling him close to the taller man.  Keith closed his eyes, simply soaking the moment in, laughing into the curve of where Lance’s neck met his broad shoulders.

Keith wished this moment could last forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well there's that !!! I listened to gasolina the entire time while writing this so I guess ik why it turned out this way (its still playing why am I like this) I can rap like the whole thing now 
> 
> hope you enjoyed it :') it gets even gayer next chapter 
> 
> [Tumblr](http://plumsakusa.tumblr.com) | [Twitter](https://twitter.com/spacedaddio)


	7. Dumb Shit Squad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the squad does dumb shit together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here it is folks !!! some people asked me what rabbit was and its basically a website where you and friends can watch a show off of netflix/youtube/hulu etc together like screen sharing kind of and you can do video, call, or chat along with it !! 
> 
>  
> 
> enjoy the chapter my dudes

o, my nyahs, where to now?” Lance asked, slinging an arm around Shiro’s shoulders with a smirk. Shiro rolled his eyes, patting Lance on the back as they strolled through the streets, headed to the Halloween parade happening in the Harajuku area. 

“Call us your nyahs again and I will personally kill you,” Keith glared back at him as he tied his hair up in a pony tail. Lance gulped, eyes immediately going to the small sliver of skin exposed at Keith’s neck, feeling the heat pool in his stomach. 

Keith’s skin was so pale, it almost looked milky. And fuck Lance wondered what it would feel like to press a kiss against that neck, to run his hands along Keith’s beautifully sculpted body and touch his silky black hair. For all that Lance said about Keith’s mullet, he truly loved his haircut. It looked so unreal, Lance felt if he touched it, the hair would fall apart. 

“What do you even do at the Halloween parade?” Pidge asked, smiling cockily when they all looked up to talk to them. They were sitting on Hunk’s shoulders, hands resting atop of his head like it was the most casual thing ever. Pidge’s unicycle was strapped into some sort of sling on their back. 

“Just walk around I suppose.” 

“Oh, we should go to the splendid arcade they have around here!” Coran exclaimed, pointing at some store in the far distance. Lance squinted his eyes, attempting to see whatever it is Coran was talking about. 

“The arcade, huh?” Keith asked, raising an eyebrow in a challenging way at Lance. Lance smirked, returning the challenging look at Keith. 

“I’m going to destroy you.” 

“¿por que no mejor me besas?" Lance asked, practically purring, a victorious smirk appearing on his lips when he saw Keith’s face flush (with anger or embarrassment, he didn’t care either way; Keith looked really hot). Lance loved to tease the other in Spanish, and it was almost disappointing Keith didn’t know what he was saying. But Lance knew if he found out, he would probably be killed and offered to Satan for a single corn chip. 

“Lance, please no more embarrassing things in the arcade,” Allura sighed, shooting a mock angry look at Lance, who returned it with a shrug and smile. Lance loved to embarrass all of them; he knew they pretended to hate it, but he had caught all of them singing Gasolina or humming the tune under their breath. You couldn’t help but get addicted to the song; it was such a bop (even if it was like, 12 years old). Lance smiled wistfully; when he was little, his family always sung this song. All of his siblings probably knew the entire thing by heart, and would always get into heated song sessions where they would sing and dance songs one after another. 

“You okay?” Lance looked over to see Keith walking next to him, violet eyes looking at him with worry and hands awkwardly stuffed in the pockets of his power ranger costume. 

“Yeah, just thinking of family,” Lance murmured, smiling gently at Keith who hummed under his breath, nodding slowly. Out of the squad, Keith knew the most about his family and how much Lance hated the time he had to spend away from them. Amongst the four of his older siblings, only his sister, Jennifer, knew about his huge crush on Keith. Lance sighed; at this point it wasn’t even a crush, it was much more. He was  _ in  _ love with Keith, the stupidly annoying asshole that liked to listen to emo songs all the time, looked  _ great  _ with eyeliner, and whose ass was looking really touchable in those tight red pants. 

“I still can’t believe you’re a fucking power ranger,” Lance teased in an attempt to cover up his red face, nudging the shorter man with his elbow. Keith glared at him, nudging him back with his elbow, only slightly harder. 

“You should’ve come as the blue power ranger,” Keith mumbled, refusing to look at Lance, who stared at him, surprised.  _ Did he just say what I think he did?  _

“Can you repeat that?” 

“I said you shouldn’t have come at all in the first place!” Keith exclaimed with a red face, walking away speedily. Lance laughed, grinning at the pissed off look Keith kept sending him from the front, where he walked alongside Allura and Shiro. Maybe next year they can do a couples costume. Lance blushed again. What was he thinking? 

  
  
  


**Sir Lancelot >>> Space mom, keitharoni, here come dat pidge, McHunk, Stache, and ** **Space Daddy** **™**

  
  


**Sir Lancelot:** GUYS THERES SUCH A HUGE LINE FOR DDR

**keitharoni:** why tf r u texting us 

**keitharoni:** we r literally in the same place 

**Space Daddy** **™:** lance where did you go 

**Space mom:** oh I can see him 

**Space mom:** oh no 

**here come dat pidge:** heS FIGHTING SOME KID 

**McHunk:** LANCE U CAN WAIT TO PLAY DDR DAMN IT 

**keitharoni:** ohmygod 

**keitharoni:** hold on im coming 

**Here come dat pidge:** gay 

**Space Daddy** **™:** _ PIDGE  _

  
  


Keith hurried over to where a huge crowd had gathered, eyes flitting about as he looked for the obnoxious bean pole, aka Lance. He finally spotted him, all riled up and ready to fight a middle school couple for the Dance Dance Revolution game. Keith walked over to stand next to him just as the little girl exclaimed, “You don’t even have a girlfriend to play against!” 

“I do too! This is my boyfriend!” Lance shrieked, wrapping an arm around a shocked Keith, whose face had flushed. Even if they weren’t really boyfriends, just hearing those words sent a shiver down his spine. The boy Lance was yelling at rose his eyebrows, but relented, sighing and pulling his girlfriend away. Lance waved them away, a mischievous smirk on his face, much to the amusement of the crowd that had gathered around ddr. 

“Since when did middle schoolers get girlfriends?” Keith asked, wrinkling his nose as he thought hard about it. In middle school he was a loner; he ate lunch alone, only his books for company. 

“Hey! I had mad game even in elementary school,” Lance smirked, pulling Keith onto the platform. Keith’s eyes widened; Lance actually expected him to play this damn game?! He wasn’t bad with hand eye coordination, but Keith was a  _ horrendous  _ dancer. If someone kidnapped him and told him to play ddr and get a high score or die, Keith would definitely die. 

“Lance,” Keith hissed, attempting to unhook his hand from Lance’s iron grip, “I can’t dance.” 

“It’s fine! It’s just a game,” Lance assured him, scrolling through the sections to choose a song for the both of them. Keith gulped, running a shaky hand through his hair. It’s not fine! Keith didn’t think he could handle being around Lance’s hips for this long at such a close proximity and not manage to embarrass himself in front of all these people. 

Suddenly, the song Poker Face by Lady Gaga started playing, Lance smiling his signature shit eating grin as a loud groan escaped Keith’s lips. Fuck Lance and his dumb ass song choices (he wouldn’t mind fucking Lance though). Keith smacked his cheeks;  _ get yourself under control!  _

“Let’s go niño bonito.” 

Looking back on it, Keith is surprised he literally didn’t pass out or go into cardiac arrest as they played the song. Sure, his heart had been racing faster than a train, and his mind felt alarmingly blank, but he had survived. He was dead, but he had survived it. 

Keith felt his mouth go dry as he shot glances at Lance during his awkward fumbles to play the game properly, legs locking up and a shameful heating spreading through his body at the small slivers of skin that Keith got to keep seeing. 

Lance’s hip bones were sharp, and they moved back and forth as Lance threw his heart into the game, occasionally looking at Keith with a playful smile and a cocky eyebrow raised at his pathetic attempts to keep up with Lance. A small drop of sweat rolled down Lance’s neck, disappearing into his shirt and Keith felt ready to lose it and just storm out of here before he got a boner so obvious mothers had to cover their children’s eyes. 

It didn’t help that with Lance’s hair stuck to his head because of sweat, his cheekbones were even more prominent, and it was almost at a perfect angle, pointing towards his lips that were pursed in concentration. Keith wasn’t even paying attention to the game at this point; all his attention was going towards Lance and his unconsciously seductive body that continued to move at a rapid speed. Lance ended up winning the game by a landslide, nearly giving Keith a heart attack when he howled in victory. The rest of the crowd laughed, whistling in appreciation when Lance took his police hat off, bowing for them. 

Keith lead Lance back to the others, wondering with a small smile how he did it. This man could go anywhere and automatically get people to like him. It’s like he emitted confidence and happiness and people responded, cheering for him or singing with him. Keith chuckled; he sure had fallen in love with an amazing person. Of course he would choose the one person that would never fall in love with someone like  _ him.  _ Always “brooding,” as Pidge put it, nose buried in a book, or simply sitting in the company of his laptop and cat while he binged some dumb anime (more often than not, it was a sports anime). 

Allura was waiting for them at the counter, holding a large, stuffed orca whale with a gleeful smile on her face. Pidge stood next to her, tinkering with their phone. 

“What’s with the whale?” Keith asked, raising an eyebrow. Allura simply smiled wider, clutching the whale even tighter to her chest. Keith smirked; he had an idea where this was going. 

“Shiro bought it for me!” Allura exclaimed, and then dropped her voice to a whisper yet somehow still keeping the excitement. “And then he kissed me on the cheek while blushing! He’s so cute!” 

Keith smiled; he knew Shiro had been crushing on Allura for the longest time, and vice versa. It was about damn time the man made a move. In his case…..Keith looked at Lance, sighing. He wouldn’t be make a move for a long time. 

“Oye! Why’d you sigh after looking at my face?” 

“It’s so ugly I grew disheartened,” Keith quipped, gently bumping his hip against Lance, who was scowling but bumped it back anyways.  

“Why you….” 

“Boys,” Allura warned, gleeful smile disappearing and angry mom appearing. The two gulped, immediately going silent as they followed her out of the arcade. 

“Your face is uglier.” 

“Says the one with the ugly face.” 

“Ugh, shut up.” 

  
  
  


“Okay, remind me, who chose to come to this shop and why?” Pidge asked, staring at the variety of costumes, hats, and glasses in varying levels of disgust. Lance looked rather proud of himself, running around the store and shrieking in delight every time he found something he liked. Keith burst out laughing when Allura turned around wearing one of those glasses with a fake nose and mustache. 

Shiro was sitting in the corner with Hunk, trying on various different wigs. Keith sneakily took a photo of Shiro trying on a neon green wig and a pair of heart shaped glasses. He could definitely use that photo as blackmail in the future. 

“This is the best idea I’ve had since like, forever,” Lance commented, stacking on ten sunglasses on his face. They all fell off seconds later. 

“You’ve never had a good idea, Lance.  _ Never, _ ” Pidge said, immediately shutting him down. Lance opened his mouth to protest, but before he could say anything they stopped him. 

“Is it socially acceptable for me to fling myself into the sun at this point to escape Lance’s bullshit?” Pidge deadpanned, flipping Lance the bird when he fake cried into the nearest thing (which was ironically a shirt that had a picture of a sun on it). 

“Lance! Lance! Try this on and buy it so we can match,” Hunk said, throwing a muscle tank that said “Thing 2,” on it in bold, white letters. Hunk was holding his (looks like he already paid for it) in his hands, an excited grin on his face. Lance nodded, hands going to the buttons on his shirt. Keith immediately felt his face go red as he watched Lance’s nimble fingers unhook button after button. 

“Y-you’re just going to c-change here?!” Keith squeaked, trying to keep the tremble out of his voice as more of Lance’s smooth skin appeared.  _ Oh fuck I really want to touch his chest.  _

“Uh…...yeah? We’re the only ones in the store,” Lance rolled his eyes, continuing to take his shirt off. Keith gulped, trying to look anywhere but at Lance’s  _ broad  _ chest. But his eyes kept flying back to him, and he felt his face go red with embarrassment when Pidge shot him an all knowing smirk. Keith noticed Hunk trying to hold a laugh back, and he ran a frustrated hand across his face.  _ Calm down Keith, it’s not that much of a big deal. Lance half naked? You can handle it. It’s fine. It’s not like he can be that shredded anyways.  _

Oh, how  _ wrong  _ Keith was. His jaw almost hit the floor when he turned back around to look at Lance, who was now completely shirtless and about to pull the tank on. Lance had fucking washboard abs. They were perfectly defined, and rippled with every movement of Lance’s. Keith’s eyes almost rolled out of his head as his eyes went to the insanely ripped biceps that were flexing right now. Lance’s jawline was curved and soft, not sharp, but it made him more attractive to Keith. If he kissed that spot, it would be soft and easy to snuggle into. How did Lance even get a body like this? 

“W-wait hold on!” Keith exclaimed, holding his hands up. The rest of the group looked surprised; was Keith finally going to make a move? Was he going to ask Lance out? 

But to their disappointment, Keith asked in a pathetic voice, “How did you even get a body like that? You don’t work out.” Allura groaned mentally, slapping a hand to her forehead. How long were these two going to take before something,  _ anything  _ happened? At this point, it was just getting on her nerves, this awkward dancing around each other’s feelings the two of them did. 

“I used to do taijutsu back at home, and I guess my habits remained,” Lance shrugged, pulling the muscle tank on. He grinned, flexing his arms in front of him and striking various poses that Pidge gleefully took photos of. Keith took some deep breaths.  _ Don’t think of Lance kicking ass with taijutsu. Definitely don’t think of shirtless Lance in black pants and sweat pouring down his body as he threw himself into practice. Don’t think of the cute smile and laugh that Lance would do when he successfully pulled off a move.  _

Deep breaths, deep breaths, deep breaths. Keith repeated it like a mantra, trying to look anywhere but at the adorable grin on Lance’s face, or the way his eyes flashed with happiness as he tried on various glasses and wigs. 

“Keith! You have to try this on,” Lance ran over, holding up an red hair wig with two braids on the side. Keith was about to say absolutely not when Lance shot him puppy eyes, turning his insides to jelly. 

“Fine,” Keith bit out, cursing his inner weakness and purposefully ignoring the snickers coming from Pidge and Allura’s direction. He glanced over at Coran who was filming the whole debacle with an enthusiastic smile on his face. 

“Yay!” Lance immediately turned Keith around, plopping the wig onto him. Keith laughed, looking at his appearance in the mirror Lance held up in front of him. All of them had started laughing even though it wasn’t that funny, Shiro looking like he was about piss himself. Lance was clutching onto Keith’s shoulder, dragging the two of them down to the carpet. Pidge was practically howling, their thumb permanently pressed against the camera button on their phone.  Allura was wheezing in the corner, tears streaming down her face. 

It was moments like this that made Keith truly grateful that he had hit follow on Lance’s blog. 

“Weren’t we going to go to Daiba school?” Coran asked, taking a sip of his boba tea. They were all sitting outside a cafe in the street where the main Halloween parade was happening, sipping on various cups of boba tea and some cakes that Shiro had bought for all of them. Keith watched the various people walk around with interest, almost choking on his roll cake when someone dressed as the frog with a unicycle walked by and fist bumped Pidge. 

“Oh yeah,” Shiro said, checking his watch, “but it closed about an hour ago. It’s 8:50 pm now.” 

“Sucks. We still had fun though,” Hunk said, ruffling Pidge’s hair, who smiled. Hunk was the only one allowed to ruffle their hair without some sort of outburst or receiving a whack from them. 

“Wait, did you say  _ 8:50?!” _ Lance shrieked, almost dropping his boba as he practically jumped out of his chair and grabbed Shiro’s arm to see the watch. Keith looked up in surprise; why was Lance so worried? 

“Yeah, what’re you so worried about?” Hunk asked, not even looking up from the strawberry roll cake he and Pidge were sharing. 

“The last trains stop at 9 pm, you dumbasses! And we’re 20 minutes away from Allura’s car and even further from the stop!” Lance waved his arms around, voice fluctuating with worry. It all dawned on them, alarm spreading to all of their facial features. 

“Let’s start running!” Pidge suggested, dumping their drink and grabbing Hunk’s wrist. Lance nodded, quickly gulping down what was remaining of his drink before pulling Keith and Shiro up. Allura and Coran agreed as well, sliding their food into their bags. 

“If we sprint we can reach the shrine where my car is in 10 minutes or so! And the drive is only a minute,” Allura told them as they started sprinting in the direction of the shrine. It was good they had Shiro who was basically a walking compass; it was kind of freaky how good his sense of direction was. 

Keith supposes it might have looked kind of comical, six college kids sprinting through the streets like their lives depended on it. Pidge had succumbed to sitting on Hunk’s shoulders somewhere along the way, and Lance was practically dragging Keith at this point, their hands tightly clasped. Keith ignored the butterflies in his stomach and tried to focus on their running. They had to reach the trains on time! 

Finally, Allura and Coran’s car was in sight, a mere block away. They all picked up the speed, breathing hard and on death’s doorstep. Keith swears he saw a bright white light and a beckoning hand while some classical music played in the background. They all stumbled into the car, not even caring that Lance was practically laying on top of all of them or the fact that they were so squished everyone had entered  _ everyone’s  _ personal bubble. Lance’s head was in Keith’s lap and he didn’t know if his heart was beating fast because of running or because of how close Lance was. 

Allura ran through so many red lights Keith was surprised they hadn’t been pulled over yet. They pulled up to the station, all of them stumbling out, not bothering to check their watches. It was now or never. They all sprinted down the stairs, huffing and almost falling down the stairs at this point. Their hearts fell as they came into a deserted subway; there wasn’t a single soul in sight. 

Keith collapsed on the ground, bringing the others down with him. Lance fell on top of his stomach, letting out a small grunt of exhaustion. Allura and Coran were on their knees, breathing hard. 

“Damn it! Fuck fuck fuck! We missed the last train!” Pidge exclaimed, throwing their hands up in the air. Keith sighed, closing his eyes and willing his heart to slow down. He needed a break. 

“Um, well, you could all stay at our place,” Allura spoke up once she had caught her breath again. Keith opened his eyes in surprise. A sleep over? 

“Whoever is down say ay!” Lance mumbled into Keith’s stomach, sending shivers running up and down his spine. How could he do things like this so casually? 

A chorus of “ay” went around at varying volumes, none too loud. They were all too tired to talk at any volume but low. Keith groaned; feeling had started returning to his legs again.

“I am never doing anything like this ever again,” Hunk bemoaned, slowly standing up. Pidge followed, brushing off their clothes. 

“Well? Come on you lazy asses. We have a princess’s house to crash.” 

  
  


To say Allura’s apartment was large is an understatement. It was a fucking penthouse that probably cost more than Keith’s net worth. Scratch that, it  _ definitely  _ cost more than Keith’s net worth. He probably amounted to some old albums, a few pieces of lint, and a half eaten slice of pizza. 

“You don’t mind sleeping in your costumes, right?” Allura asked, handing out glasses of water to everyone. She had changed into a pair of silk, pink pajamas and looked ready to fall asleep right then and there.

“I’ve split you up in pairs for rooms. Shiro, you’ll be sharing with me. Hunk and Pidge, you’re in the guest room on the left, and Keith and Lance have the guest room all the way at the end. Good night.” Coran beckoned Shiro and the two left, yawning and discussing something about current events. 

Keith made eye contact with Lance, blushing. He had to share a room with Lance for the entire night? Wait, what about who got the bed? Keith was about to speak up and ask Lance who got the bed when he was beat to it. 

“You’re cool with sharing the bed right? I’m a bit of a cuddler, and I don’t like sleeping alone,” Lance chuckled, scratching head and going red at the implications. Keith’s face had turned red too, and he awkwardly chuckled before nodding yes, he was cool with sharing a bed.  _ You can do this Keith. You can handle being super close to Lance and cuddling with him because he doesn’t like sleeping alone. Wait, fuck, that’s really cute. This long baguette of a man likes to cuddle with things and hates being alone.  _

The two walked into the room, Keith making a beeline for the side of the bed that faced the wall. He settled in, undoing his pony tail and taking off the belt on his costume. He looked over at Lance and immediately looked away again. Lance was taking his shirt off.  _ Again.  _

“Why’re you taking your shirt off this time?!” Keith whisper yelled, thanking the gods it was dark in the room so Lance couldn’t see how red his face had gotten. 

“I always sleep with my shirt off,” Lance said, whipping his shirt off in a swift motion and jumping onto the bed in the same breath. Keith tensed, but relaxed almost instantly at the steady warmth that Lance’s body seemed to provide. Keith felt Lance edge closer, a lazy arm wrapping around his waist. 

“You’re okay with this, right?” Lance asked in a small voice, piercing through Keith’s heart. He had never heard Lance sound this small; Keith was used to Lance’s loud voice that broke everyone’s eardrums, his blinding smile that was eerily white for his tan skin, and his eyes that always spoke of happiness. But he also knew that smile could be wiped off instantly, he knew that Lance spent more time wallowing in his mind late at night, and he knew Lance was more than just a few charming jokes and smiles. 

“It’s fine,” Keith turned around to face Lance, blushing when he realized how close they were. He put a shaky arm around Lance, taking a deep breath when Lance melded into his touch, eyes closed. Keith’s eyes mapped the freckles scattered across Lance’s nose and cheeks, trying to commit it to memory. Who knew when he would be this close to the man again? Lance’s warm breath fanned his face, and Keith wished he could grab his chin and bring those lips to meet his. 

“Lance…..” Keith began, but trailed off when Lance started giving off gentle snores. Keith chuckled, knocking their foreheads together. Just when he was thinking of spilling his guts, this idiot went ahead and fell asleep. 

That night Keith slept sounder than he had for a long time. 

  
  


The morning brought a controlled chaos. Everyone was running around trying to get ready on time for their various trains while Allura and Coran watched the five in amusement. Keith was tying his ponytail up when he heard a loud crash followed by loud cursing. That could only be one person: Lance. 

“I’m so sorry Allura! I’ll pay for a new vase!” Lance insisted, staring at the shattered shards in horror. Allura sighed, a teasing smile playing on her lips. 

“It’s fine. Just get going before you miss the morning train.” Allura shooed them out, hugging them all one by one. Keith cried a little when she hugged him; it had been a long time since he had met a group of people who cared about him the much. From Lance’s gentle touches last night, to the hugs they all shared, Keith felt loved. 

They shared one last group hug before splitting up into groups to reach their separate trains. When they got to the station, the men hugged one more time. Keith hugged Lance the longest; he thought Lance would let go first, but the man tightened his grip even further. Keith’s fingers dug into Lance’s shoulder blade, surprised when he felt Lance bury his head into the curve of his neck. 

“Thank you,” Lance roughly whispered into Keith’s ear before pulling away, walking towards Hunk and Pidge. Keith shared a sad, yet somehow full of love and happiness, gaze with Lance before he stepped into his train. Keith solemnly watched the train speed away, suddenly feeling cold. His body craved for the warmth. 

Keith looked away, unable to help the quirk of his lips. He had already started missing Lance and his dumb smile. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ¿Puede que me besas yo en su lugar? : roughly means "why don't you kiss me instead?"
> 
> this chapter took so long wha t the heck ??? and when will klance just get together smh 
> 
> [Tumblr](http://plumsakusa.tumblr.com) | [Twitter](https://twitter.com/spacedaddio)


	8. Bee Lover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lance loves bees

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this chapter is a bit short guys !! <3 also shoutout to my friend erin and my girl Han for some great ideas for this fic !! (han i stole our texts for the sake of my fic)

**McHunk >>> Space mom, Sir Lancelot, keitharoni, here come dat pidge, Stache, and ** **Space Daddy** **™**

  
  


_ November 4th  _

 

_ [ 5:46 pm ]  _

  
  


**McHunk:** i cant believe Lance just read the first two chapters of my immortal to me 

**McHunk:** im disowning him 

**here come dat pidge:** KILL HIM 

**Sir Lancelot:** r00d pidgeot 

**Space mom:** i want all of my immortal read at my funeral 

**Sir Lancelot:** ill read it for u princess,,,,, 

**here come dat pidge:** i will bring ear plugs 

**Space Daddy** **™:** i can't believe my immortal actually exists smh 

**Stache:** i read some of it and let me say 

**Stache:** it was a wild ride 

**keitharoni:** Hi my name is Keith Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way and I have long ebony black hair (that’s how I got my name) with red streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Takashi Shirogane (AN: if u don’t know who he is get da hell out of here!). I’m a vampire but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white skin. I’m also a college student, and I live in a super cool apartment and this is my first year here (I’m seventeen). I’m a goth (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow. I was walking outside of my super cool apartment. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of people stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

**here come dat pidge:** OHMYGOD 

**Sir Lancelot:** KEITH N O 

**Space mom:** IM WHEEZING 

**Stache:** I cannot believe this 

**McHunk:** HOLY SHIT KEITH IS THIS WHY U WERE TYPING FOR SO LONG 

**Space Daddy** **™:** im disappointed but laughing so it's ok 

**Sir Lancelot:** the dedication put into that honestly 

**keitharoni:** i have my immortal book marked ready to go any t i m e 

**here come dat pidge:** why r u like this 

**here come dat pidge:** lmao sike i also have it book marked

**Sir Lancelot:** u fucks 

**McHunk:** lance ive seen ur laptop 

**McHunk:** u have the entire bee movie script pasted in ur notes 

**Sir Lancelot:** look,,,,,,,,,

**Sir Lancelot:** let me be a bee lover ok 

**Space Daddy** **™:** that takes it a bit far 

**keitharoni:** u bee loving fuck 

**here come dat pidge:** one time, 

**here come dat pidge:** i killed a bee 

**Space mom:** and????

**Stache:** what else happened 

**Stache:** or is that it 

**here come dat pidge:** no thats it 

**Sir Lancelot:** U BEE KILLER HOW COULD YOU 

**Space Daddy** **™:** pidge we need to discuss ur coldness towards bees

**here come dat pidge:** aint no honey looking ugly ass bee comin towards me and stinging me get out of here with that shit nuh uh 

**Sir Lancelot:** bees r good,,,,,pure,,,,honey lovin cuties 

**keitharoni:** i think u need to get ur eyes checked noodle 

**Space mom:** lance dont u have glasses 

**Sir Lancelot:** i wear contacts 

**keitharoni:** u were probably lookin at the bee w/out contacts 

**Sir Lancelot:** its nOT LIKE IM BLIND FFS 

**McHunk:** no u r 

**McHunk:** u literally walked straight into a wall and kept walkin into it one time w/out ur contacts 

**Sir Lancelot:** jfc that was a mistake i was ti re d 

**here come dat pidge:** ive seen u walk into a wall at noon n completely sober 

**Sir Lancelot:** let me live;;; 

**keitharoni:** never 

**Stache:** never 

**McHunk:** over my dead body 

**here come dat pidge:**  n o P E 

**Space mom:** u wish lance 

**Space Daddy** **™:** sorry buddy 

**Sir Lancelot:** i cant believe yall 

**Sir Lancelot:** would betray me like this 

**here come dat pidge:** new phone who dis

**keitharoni:** OH SHIT HE DID THAT 

**McHunk:** REKT 

**Space mom:** YOU JUST GOT DES T RO Y E D 

**Space Daddy** **™:** why 

**here come dat pidge:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**Sir Lancelot:** dont give me that damn emoji 

**Sir Lancelot:** thATS MY MOVE u poo 

**here come dat pidge:** bro 

**Sir Lancelot:** bro 

**keitharoni:** b r o 

**McHunk:** BRO 

**here come dat pidge:** B r O 

**Sir Lancelot:** b r O 

**keitharoni:** B r o 

**here come dat pidge:** _ b r o  _

**Sir Lancelot:** _ B R O  _

**Keitharoni:** _ bro  _

**McHunk:** _ B r O  _

**here come dat pidge: B R O**

**Sir Lancelot: B R o**

**keitharoni: b R o**

**McHunk:** **_bro_ **

**Space Daddy** **™:** im so disappointed 

**Space Daddy** **™:** this is the second time in one day 

**Space Daddy** **™:** AN HOUR HASNT EVEN PASSED 

**Space mom:** children ur father is about to lose it 

**Stache:** this should be interesting 

**Sir Lancelot:** WE DIDNT MEAN IT D A D 

**here come dat pidge:** if u need me i will be hiding in my closet from his wrath 

**keitharoni:** oh fuck 

**Sir Lancelot:** gtg abort mission 

  
  
  


_ [ 9:34 am ]  _

 

**Space mom >>> Stache, here come dat pidge, Sir Lancelot, keitharoni, McHunk, and ** **Space Daddy** **™**

  
  


**Space mom:** hello 

**Sir Lancelot:** ITS ME 

**McHunk:** I WAS WONDERIN 

**Here come dat pidge:** IF AFTER ALL THESE YEARS 

**Keitharoni:** YOUD LIKE TO MEET 

**Sir Lancelot:** TO GO O V  E R EVERYTHINGGGG

**McHunk:** TH EY SAY THAT TIMES SUPPOSED TO HEAL  _ YA  _

**Here come dat pidge:** BUT I AINT DONE MUCH HEALING

**Keitharoni:** IM IN CALIFORNIA DREAMING BOUT WHO WE USED TO B E 

**Sir Lancelot:** WHEN WE WERE YOUNGER AND F R E E 

**McHunk:** IVE FORGOTTEN HOW IT FELT B4 THE WORLD FELL AT OUR F E ET 

**Here come dat pidge:** _ HELLO  _

**Keitharoni:** _ FROM  _

**Sir Lancelot:** _ THE  _

**McHunk:** _ OTHER  _

**Here come dat pidge:** _ S _

**Keitharoni:** _ I _

**Sir Lancelot:** _ D _

**McHunk:** _ E _

**Space mom:** ok first of all 

**Space mom:** HOW THE F U C K ASS DO U GUYS DO THAT 

**Stache:** its so fascinating id love to expirement 

**Space Daddy** **™:** i suffer everyday 

**Sir Lancelot:** i did this during my lecture n my prof didnt even notice 

**Sir Lancelot:** oh fuck hes walking ov er here 

**Sir Lancelot:** OH FUCK 

**Space mom:** what happened????? 

**Space Daddy** **™:** lance? Where’d he go? 

**keitharoni:** the idiot is prob getting his ass yelled at it in class 

**here come dat pidge:** i bet the teacher is reading it out loud 

**McHunk:** our messages? 

**Stache:** rip lance it was nice knowing you 

**Space Daddy** **™:** arent we just making it worse 

**Space mom:** meh 

**here come dat pidge:** he had it coming for him 

**Sir Lancelot:** MY PROF JUST READ OUR MOST RECENT TEXTS OUT LOUD TO THE CLASS 

**Sir Lancelot:** theyre all laughing 

**Space Daddy** **™:** its ok they r not laughing at u they laugh with u 

**here come dat pidge:** no theyre laughing at u 

**keitharoni:** _ pidge  _

**here come dat pidge:** whats got ur panties in a twist? 

 

_ Sir Lancelot is now offline  _

 

**Space mom:** lance? 

**Space Daddy** **™:** what happened 

**keitharoni:** i knew something was wrong 

**keitharoni:** he seemed a bit off during our morning call 

**keitharoni:** fuck fuck fuck i should have said something sooner 

  
  
  


**keitharoni >>> Sir Lancelot **

  
  


**keitharoni:** lance? 

**keitharoni:** lance pls answer 

**keitharoni:** i need to know if ur okay 

**keitharoni:** lance?????

**keitharoni:** damn it lance 

**keitharoni:** ur fine they were not laughing at you 

**keitharoni:** we love u pls answer 

**keitharoni:** if ur reading these but not responding 

**keitharoni:** i need u to take some deep breaths for me 

**keitharoni:** remember the fun day we all had together on halloween 

**keitharoni:** remember that? 

**keitharoni:** we love u lance and everyone else does too 

**eitharoni:** i can confidently say they were not laughing at you 

**keitharoni:** lance? 

**Sir Lancelot:** yeah 

**Sir Lancelot:** im here 

**Sir Lancelot:** class let out 10 min ago 

**keitharoni:** can we call? 

**Sir Lancelot:** no i 

**keitharoni:** just audio i swear 

**Sir Lancelot:** …..okay 

  
  


Keith held his phone up to his ear, fingers crossed and lips pursed. He had known something was wrong this morning; Lance hadn’t made as many dumb jokes and passed up on making fun of him.  _ Fuck fuck fuck I should have noticed sooner!  _ Keith cursed under his breath, sighing in relief when he heard Lance pick up. 

“......Keith?” A hesitant voice asked, almost breaking Keith’s heart. He’d know what that quiet, timid voice meant anytime; Lance had a panic attack directly after class. 

“Lance,” Keith breathed into his phone, resting his head against the cool tile of his kitchen floor where he was currently lying down. He curled up, clutching his phone like it was a lifeline. 

“What’s wrong?” Keith whispered; something about the mood in the air told Keith to keep the volume down. He wished he was there, next to Lance. He wished he could wrap his arms around the man, rub circles into his back and tell him that yes, Keith is there for him. No, he’ll never have to feel alone again. 

“I…...I didn’t take my pills this morning,” Lance responded roughly, sounding like he was holding back tears of the sort. Or screams. On occasion, during their calls, Lance would just scream at nothing for the longest of time. He would scream till his voice grew sore and the screams broke into sobs that stomped all over Keith’s heart. 

“Lance, you know you have to take them,” Keith said softly, heart growing heavy. There was days when Lance refused to take his pills and only after heavy coaxing from Keith and Hunk would he agree to take them. Looks like none of them noticed till it was a bit too late today. 

“I know it’s just,” Lance broke off, attempting to cover his sniffles with a loud cough, “I don’t like how they make me feel.” Keith frowned; he hated this feeling of uselessness. He couldn’t do anything when he was hours away from the man! 

“Tell me more about your family,” Keith’s ragged voice broke the piercing silence, a small smile curving his lips. The best way to distract Lance was to get him talking about his family. 

“On days like this, when I came home from school my abuelita would be sitting on the balcony, softly singing Spanish music under her breath as she read a book. I would sit against her knees, eyes closed and she’d run a hand through my hair. I can almost hear her voice and the gentle touch of her old, calloused hands…….” Lance trailed off, bittersweet tinging his voice. Keith could almost see the cruel twist of his lips, the longing in his eyes and the tears threatening to spill over. 

“I’ve never had a family so I guess...you guys are the closest thing I've had to it,” Keith’s voice dropped; he had never admit it out loud, but that was how he felt. Lance chuckling crackled through the small phone speaker, warming Keith’s heart. 

“Of course we’re your family, silly.” 

“I’m not silly!” 

“Uh huh, whatever. Silly.” 

“Ugh, shut up noodle.” 

“Aww is Keithy boy’s feelings hurt?” Lance teased, breaking into laughter seconds later. 

“Whatever! I hate you,” Keith grumbled, scowling into the phone. 

“Yeah, yeah. Love you too.” Keith hummed in response, turning over and laying on his back. He stared up at the ceiling, loosely holding the phone up to his ear. He would do anything to keep that smile on Lance’s face. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> expect slow updates next chapter bc I'll be at debate camp from 8-6 !! I hope you guys liked the chapter <3333 love all the comments !! 
> 
> And to the anon who has been sending me messages and saying I shouldn't write about Lance having anxiety n depression because I "clearly don't have it" (I refuse to respond to your provocative messages but rest assured I have friends who are angry about it) 
> 
> I suffer from sever anxiety and depression but even if I didn't it doesn't mean I'm not writing it "properly" 
> 
> People experience mental illnesses differently, and yes I'm writing based on personal experience, however you shouldn't give me shit for something like that. There's been certain discourse in the fandom right now so I hope we all remember that you don't have to read fan fiction and no one is forcing you to send people toxic and poisonous messages / leave rude comments / harass the minors that write these. 
> 
> [Tumblr](http://plumsakusa.tumblr.com) | [Twitter](https://twitter.com/spacedaddio)


	9. the art of yoga

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shiro breaks the news

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW HEY GUYS LONG TIME NO SEE !! I've been prepping for the PF debate topic all week :') my fellow debaters leave a comment !! the debate season is so close i can almost taste it (and the pizza available at every tournament, and the sweet, sweet taste of victory also the painful feeling of wearing heels all day and the suits ahhh 

**Sir Lancelot >>> McHunk, here come dat pidge, space mom, Stache, keitharoni, and ** **Space Daddy** **™**

 

_ November 10th  _

 

_ [ 8:45 am ]  _

  
  
  


**Sir Lancelot:** U FUSDUSYA 

**space mom:** English pls Lance 

**keitharoni:** what the fuck 

**here come dat pidge:** im ordering n shipping a dictionary to u rn 

**Sir Lancelot:** HUNK IS MOVIJG OUT 

**Sir Lancelot:** HeS LEAVING ME 

**McHunk:** L A N C E I AM MOVING DOWN TWO APARTMENTS 

**Sir Lancelot:** UR LEAVING ME 

**Sir Lancelot:** FOR SH A Y 

**keitharoni:** will he be able to pay his rent 

**Sir Lancelot:** PLS 

**Sir Lancelot:** THAT IS NOT THE ISSUE 

**Sir Lancelot:** Y OU RE LE A VING ME 

**here come dat pidge:** I would have left a long time ago 

**Sir Lancelot:** r00d 

**Space Daddy** **™:** Lance it can't be that bad 

**space mom:** hes moving lik two rooms down 

**McHunk:** ill still make u enchiladas 

**Sir Lancelot:** so when r u moving? do you need help packing? can I make you and shay some sweets for your first night? do you need someone to help you set up? I'm here for you buddy 

**McHunk:** so easily swayed 

**here come dat pidge:** only a ,,,,,,, true idiot 

**keitharoni:** hes also v gullible 

**space mom:** he believed me when i told him an alien stole his contacts 

**Sir Lancelot:** wait,,,,,,,

**Sir Lancelot:** r u telling m e 

**Sir Lancelot:** AN ALIEN  _ DIDNT  _ STEA L MY CONTACTS 

**space mom:** no 

**here come dat pidge:** youve been awfully quiet, coran 

**Stache:** i haven't done anything ! I didn't steal them!!! 

**keitharoni:** no one said u did 

**Sir Lancelot:** suspicious…….

**space mom:** coran, 

**space mom:** its time to tell the truth 

**Stache:** Lance

**Sir Lancelot:** no 

**Sir Lancelot:** d o n t 

**Sir Lancelot:** I BELIEVED IN U CORANIC 

**Stache:** IM SORRY I FLUSHED UR CONTACTS DOWN THE TOILET 

**Sir Lancelot:** ive been bETRA Y ED

**Sir Lancelot:** alas, what can a brave knight like me expect from u peasants 

**keitharoni:** who r u callin a peasant, peasant 

**Sir Lancelot:** you, you peasant 

**keitharoni:** UR THE PEASANT, PEASANT 

**Sir Lancelot:** SAYS THE PEASANT, PEASANT

**Space Daddy** **™:** ITS TIME TO STOP 

**Sir Lancelot:** yes, father 

**keitharoni:** my mistake, father 

**McHunk:** Lance is dramatically singing smthng in Spanish in the kitchen 

**McHunk:** M A KE HIM sT O P 

**Sir Lancelot:** *finger guns* 

**here come dat pidge:** pull the trigger u fucking cOWARD 

**Space Daddy** **™:** pidge, p l e a s e

**space mom:** im whE E ZIN pidGE WHY 

**here come dat pidge:** i wait for the sweet embrace of death 

**keitharoni:** u worry me 

**space mom:** i too wait for the merciless location known as hell 

**Space Daddy** **™:** how do u know ur going to hell 

**Stache:** yesterday she told me i get 20 points if i hit the old lady 

**Stache:** while we were DRIVING 

**Sir Lancelot:** NOOOOOOOOOOOO 

**keitharoni:** _ SAVAGE  _

**McHunk:** RE K T 

**here come dat pidge:** well did u get the 20 points 

**Stache:** NO OF COURSE NOT 

**Space Daddy** **™:** what type of people are u 

**space mom:** i have an elaborate point system 

**Sir Lancelot:** it sounds wild to drive w allura 

**here come dat pidge:** one time i called her in the morning and heard her scream at someone who cut her off 

**here come dat pidge:** it was brutal 

**here come dat pidge:** i think he cried a little 

**Sir Lancelot:** i too would cry if alluras beautiful face was screaming at me 

**Space Daddy** **™:** Lance no 

**keitharoni:** aw is dad jealous 

**here come dat pidge:** th ings r heATING up 

**McHunk:** hOo bOy 

**Space Daddy** **™:** I am not jealous! 

**Sir Lancelot:** r u sure 

**Space Daddy** **™:** yes! 

**keitharoni:** hmmmmm

**here come dat pidge:** sounds fake, but ok 

**McHunk:** just admit it dad 

**space mom:** should we tell them 

**Space Daddy** **™:** hnngnnggg 

**space mom:** _ shiro  _

**Space Daddy** **™:** f i n e 

**Space Daddy** **™:** allura and i r dating 

**McHunk:** I knew it 

**keitharoni:** damn it 

**here come dat pidge:** fork it over Lance 

**Sir Lancelot:** i already transferred the 50 to you 

**Sir Lancelot:** KEITH U OWE ME 30 

**McHunk:** u also owe me 25 

**here come dat pidge:** ur emo ass owes me 15 

**space mom:** did u guys…….bet on our relationship

**Sir Lancelot:** …...yes?

**Stache:** u all owe me 10 

**Space Daddy** **™:** oh my god 

**Space Daddy** **™:** im never getting children

**keitharoni:** too late 

**McHunk:** we  _ are  _ your children 

**Sir Lancelot:** till death do us apart 

**here come dat pidge:** we will always be there 

**here come dat pidge:** watching, waiting, silently 

**keitharoni:** ok well not that creepy 

**here come dat pidge:** THERES ALWAYS SOMEONE WATCHING U 

**space mom:** someone stop them 

**Sir Lancelot:** PIDGEOT NO 

**McHunk:** and the nerd of the year award goes to…..

**here come dat pidge:** im just a smol meme

**here come dat pidge:** tryin to make it in this big world 

**keitharoni:** pls 

**keitharoni:** u once roasted and destroyed a 10 year old through online gaming 

**here come dat pidge:** THEY DARED TO SASS THE PIDGEOT MASTER 

**Sir Lancelot:** the kid sTARTED CRYING 

**Sir Lancelot:** u ruined him forever 

**Sir Lancelot:** i never once saw his user on there again 

**McHunk:** a n n i h i l a t i o n 

**space mom:** the most savage 

**Space Daddy** **™:** pidge u know better smh 

**Stache:** im a proud uncle

**Stache:** go pidge 

**keitharoni:** dont encourage them 

**here come dat pidge:** i run on the energy of the tears of my enemies 

**Sir Lancelot:** i run on weird mixtures of monster, red bull, and coffee 

**McHunk:** its true 

**McHunk:** im surprised he hasn't died yet 

**keitharoni:** he drank a whole gallon during a call once 

**keitharoni:** the things he did next make me shudder in horror at the thought 

**Sir Lancelot:** honestly i have no clue what i even did 

**McHunk:** all i heard was thumps and loud screaming all night 

**McHunk:** i was too scared to leave my room 

**here come dat pidge:** Lance why 

**Space Daddy** **™:** im so disappointed 

**Space Daddy** **™:** @ anyone, God, the guy who dresses up like Jesus every year, pls help me 

**Space Daddy** **™:** I DONT DESERVE ANY OF THESE CHILDREN 

**space mom:** its too late we’ve made a commitment 

**Space Daddy** **™:** if only we hadn't 

**Sir Lancelot:** u can't have regrets in lyfe dad 

**Space Daddy** **™:** that sentence n ur spelling reminds me of all the regrets i have 

**keitharoni:** i died a little on the inside at lyfe 

**here come dat pidge:** i think we all did 

**McHunk:** i know i did 

**McHunk:** help hes playing jlo rlly loudly 

**Sir Lancelot:** U KNOW U LOVE MY DANCING 

 

_ McHunk takes a deep breath  _

 

**McHunk:** B O I 

**McHunk:** AFTER HEARING THE SAME DAMN SONGS 574758584839201 TIMES 

**McHunk:** IM FED UP WITH UR BULLSHIT 

**keitharoni:** _ OH SHIT  _

**here come dat pidge:** HE DID TH A T 

**space mom:** REKT DESTROYED YOUVE BEEN D E S T R O Y E D 

**Space Daddy** **™:** why 

**Stache:** you have been served 

**Sir Lancelot:** ok its time to scream 

**Sir Lancelot:** if ur eating smthng pls stop eating rn 

**Stache:** dear lord 

**here come dat pidge:** oh god 

**McHunk:** i almost barfed 

**Sir Lancelot:** THIS GUY ON AMERICAS GOT TALENT JUST ATE A FUCKING DOG FOOD SANDWICH WITH A DIP OF BEEF BILE????? IM?????? 

**Space Daddy** **™:** HOLY FUCK 

**here come dat pidge:** o shit whaddup 

**McHunk:** my stomach is empty it's too late 

**space mom:** IM CRYINGG THAT MENTAL IMAGE WASNT NEED E D 

**keitharoni:** i triple dog dare you to do that 

**Sir Lancelot:** NO 

**keitharoni:** ur dignity as a man or ur stomach? 

**here come dat pidge:** rip Lance’s manliness , it lived a good life, 1996 — 2016 

**Sir Lancelot:** my stomaCH OVER ANYTHING 

**keitharoni:** weak 

**Sir Lancelot:** THEN WHY DONT U DO IT 

**McHunk:** i feel so alive after throwing up a little 

**Stache:** didnt need to know that hunk 

**space mom:** i think i have to throw up now 

**Space Daddy** **™:** me too 

**Stache:** oh dear god why 

**here come dat pidge:** is this the throw up effect in action 

**Sir Lancelot:** YO ISNT THE THROW UP EFFECT FROM KICKIN IT 

**keitharoni:** that show was my shit 

**McHunk:** that dude truly had wonderful hair 

 

_ Sir Lancelot clenches his fist  _

 

**Sir Lancelot:** hair goals 

**here come dat pidge:** ur so damn dramatic 

**Sir Lancelot:** it's in my……..

**keitharoni:** pls no 

**Sir Lancelot:** JEANS 

 

_ Sir Lancelot has attached a photo >>> MeNMyJenes.png  _

 

**Sir Lancelot:** ;)))))))))))))))) 

**here come dat pidge:** how will i avoid this bullshit 

**keitharoni:** fling urself into the sun

**keitharoni:** im trying to 

**Sir Lancelot:** dont bE S o r00d gUYS 

**McHunk:** living with him means dumb puns all day pls help 

**keitharoni:** ur so close from escaping hunk 

**Sir Lancelot:** i cry everyday 

**Space Daddy** **™:** good 

**here come dat pidge:** REKT 

**space mom:** 10 points to shiro 

**keitharoni:** yeah u tell him dad 

**Stache:** 10/10 would roast again 

**Sir Lancelot:** i hate u all 

**here come dat pidge:** <33333333

  
  
  


**keitharoni >>> Sir Lancelot **

  
  


_ November 26th  _

 

_ [ 3:34 am ]  _

  
  


**keitharoni:** bro i just realized yoga is the art of holding ur farts in 

**Sir Lancelot:** b r o 

**Sir Lancelot:** mayb i should do yoga 

**keitharoni:** u should 

**Sir Lancelot:** bc i farted a lot today on the way home 

**Sir Lancelot:** just a buncha toots 

**Sir Lancelot:** toot toot toot 

**Sir Lancelot:** i tooted the whole way 

**keitharoni:** omg 

**Sir Lancelot:** the old lady who pretends to be deaf at my apartment and i shared a look 

**keitharoni:** is she conspiring with u now 

**Sir Lancelot:** i think she tooted back 

**keitharoni:** i would toot back for u bro 

**Sir Lancelot:** _ bro  _

**keitharoni:** okay? 

**Sir Lancelot:** okay 

**keitharoni:** B R O 

**Sir Lancelot:** bro 

**keitharoni:** _  b r o  _

**Sir Lancelot:** bro i should throw away my dairy stuff 

**Sir Lancelot:** farting this much cant be good 4 u 

**Sir Lancelot:** im throwing away all my dairy 

**keitharoni:** no ur not 

**Sir Lancelot:** no im not 

**keitharoni:** u love ur cheese too much, ya dairy hoe 

**Sir Lancelot:** oYE 

**Sir Lancelot:** actually,,,,,,,,ur right 

**keitharoni:** im always right 

**Sir Lancelot:** what about that time u told ur teacher u were straight and pretended to have a girlfriend for 8 months 

**keitharoni:** NO STOP THST WAS A MISTAKE 

**Sir Lancelot:** UNTIL HE FUCJING WALKED IN ON U MAKING OUT WITH SOME GUY 

**keitharoni:** OHMYGOOOOD 

**Sir Lancelot:** or what about that time 

**keitharoni:** stop no 

**Sir Lancelot:** u decided it’d be a great idea to send me a stripper gram for my 18th 

**keitharoni:** NO THAT WAS 2 YEARS AGO STOP 

**Sir Lancelot:** but u sent them to our neighbor 

**keitharoni:** pls 

**Sir Lancelot:** OUR NEIGHBOR IS 85 YEARS OLD KEITH 

**Sir Lancelot:** U SENT AN 85 YR OLD STRAIGHT MAN A GAY STRIPPER GRAM FROM THE WEBSITE SPICY COCK 

**keitharoni:** LOOK IT WAS A M ISTAKE I REGRET EVERYDAY 

**Sir Lancelot:** or what about that time u told shiro to rip off his arm in an argument at the airport 

**keitharoni:** pls that was a great idea 

**Sir Lancelot:** THE LADY FAINTED 

**Sir Lancelot:** THEY HAD TO CALL LIFE ALERT 

**Sir Lancelot:** U GAVE HER A FUCKINGHN HEART ATTACK 

**keitharoni:** ok i didnt know old people werent metal 

**Sir Lancelot:** IN WHAT WORLD WOUKD OLD PPL BE METAL 

**keitharoni:** look id be a metal old person 

**Sir Lancelot:** thats bc ur a fuckinnnn emo

**keitharoni:** ur the grandpa that sends their grandkids a stripper gram 

**Sir Lancelot:** nO THATS Y O U 

**keitharoni:** u have a point 

**Sir Lancelot:** mmmmmyohogod 

**keitharoni:** uh noodle 

**Sir Lancelot:** mmm? 

**keitharoni:** i have to tell u smthng serious 

**Sir Lancelot:** hmmmm jfk 

**keitharoni:** so ik we have been best friends for a long time now 

**keitharoni:** and ive cherished all our moments 

**keitharoni:** like that time you set ur curtains on fire during a call 

**keitharoni:** or that time u broke ur arm when u fell from ur skateboard and kept me on face time the whole time during the ride to the hospital 

**keitharoni:** or when u first messaged me on tumblr and called me a emo mullet princess 

**keitharoni:** also the first time i hugged you and you swung me around and didn't let go of me for 10 minutes 

**keitharoni:** and for the three years that ive known you 

**keitharoni:** ive memorized all your likes, your dislikes 

**keitharoni:** the number of freckles on ur face— there 87 

**keitharoni:** the roughness of ur hands 

**keitharoni:** the little curl to ur lips when u smile genuinely and the way you’ll run a hand through ur hair when ur embarrassed 

**keitharoni:** Lance…….

**keitharoni:** i love you 

**keitharoni:** i love you so fucking much 

 

_ Sir Lancelot is now offline  _

 

**keitharoni:** Lance? 

**keitharoni:** fuck fuck fuck

**keitharoni:** shit   


**keitharoni:** im so sorry 

 

_ keitharoni is now offline  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey hey hey !! hope you enjoyed the chapter !! 
> 
> the google docs i write on is 80 pages long dear god 
> 
> the end is not near knowing my ass this thing will end up being like 50 chapters
> 
> [Tumblr](http://plumsakusa.tumblr.com) | [Twitter](https://twitter.com/spacedaddio)


	10. A Dramatic Flair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lance fucked up but he fixes it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have made you all wait long enough. it gets SUPER gay. the gayest you've ever seen. 
> 
> enjoy the chapter ya thirsties !! 

**Sir Lancelot >>> keitharoni **

 

_ November 26th  _

 

_ [ 2:45 pm ]  _

  
  


**Sir Lancelot:** Keith? 

**Sir Lancelot:** pls respond 

**Sir Lancelot:** FUCK 

**Sir Lancelot:** fucking shit i fucked up damn it 

**Sir Lancelot:** DAMN IT KEITH PLS RESPOND 

**Sir Lancelot:** fuck 

  
  
  


_ keitharoni has left the conversation Space Nerds  _

  
  


**here come dat pidge:** why did keith leave? 

**space mom:** wtf he's not responding to my pms 

**Stache:** he's not responding to mine either 

**McHunk:** oh god what happened 

**Space Daddy** **™:** Lance do you know anything? 

**Sir Lancelot:** …….

**space mom:** _ Lance  _

**McHunk:** what did u do 

**here come dat pidge:** pls tell me its not over some dumb argument 

**Sir Lancelot:** NO! 

**here come dat pidge:** whoa there relax buddy 

**Sir Lancelot:** sorry I just 

**Sir Lancelot:** i fucked up guys 

**Sir Lancelot:** i  _ really  _ fucked things up 

**Space Daddy** **™:** do u want to tell us? 

**space mom:** we won't get mad Lance what happened 

**McHunk:** Lance, buddy, u ok? 

**Sir Lancelot:** fuck no im not gOd 

**here come dat pidge:** yikes 

**Stache:** how about u tell just Hunk for now 

**space mom:** and u can tell us later 

**Space Daddy** **™:** Lance whatever u did, it can't be that bad 

**Sir Lancelot:** it is, it really is 

 

_ Sir Lancelot is now offline  _

 

**McHunk:** ill talk to him 

**here come dat pidge:** mm im worried 

**Space Daddy** **™:** make sure he doesn't do anything stupid, ok? 

**space mom:** God i hope theyre both ok 

**Stache:** this isnt good for the nerves 

**McHunk:** ill see what I can do 

 

_ McHunk is now offline  _

  
  
  


“Hunk, I fucked shit up last night,” Lance said softly, curling in on himself when he heard Hunk’s hesitant footsteps enter his room. Lance’s glasses sat next to him on the bed, a simple hindrance to the constant rubbing of the eyes he had been doing to prevent the tears. Red rimmed, watery eyes turned to appraise Hunk, who had gently taken a seat next to Lance’s subtly shaking body. 

“What happened?” Hunk asked quietly, rubbing circles into Lance’s back. 

“I—Keith told me he loved me…..” Lance trailed off, pressing his eyes shut as he remembered the words. They were printed behind his eyelids, flashing in his mind. They made Lance’s heart shake and happy tears to gather in his eyes. But Lance had screwed it all up. 

“Well, that’s good, isn't it?” Hunk asked, perplexed. What had happened? 

“Hunk I fell asleep when he sent those messages, and I went offline. But  _ Keith  _ thinks I don't love him back and now he won't respond and  _ fuck  _ I screwed this all up oh my god,” Lance rattled off, the panicked words unable to stop. His mind was going into overdrive, and he couldn't stop his hands from violently shaking. It was all over—Keith didn't think he reciprocated his feelings, he was done with Lance’s shit, and he would never talk to them again. Lance felt his heart hiccup at the thought, lips pursed to hold back his frustrated screams as he raked his nails through his hair. 

“Lance……. _Lance,_ listen to me,” Hunk said firmly when he saw Lance’s eyes wandering and unfocused, “he does not hate you. Keith is still hopelessly in love with you and you have to keep trying. The Lance I know wouldn’t give up so easily.” 

Lance looked over at Hunk, pulling his glasses back on at a sluggish pace. Exhaustion had set into his limbs, pulling them down and anchoring him to his bed. He felt so tired, but a small spark of hope at settled in his chest at Hunk’s words. Lance clutched the edge of his bed, curling his toes as his feet hit the cold wooden floor. 

“But how? He won't respond to my calls, my messages…... _ nothing,”  _ Lance responded, heart clenching. He desperately wanted to tell Keith how much that stupid emo asshole meant to Lance. Lance fucking loved Keith and his stupid ass had to go ahead and fall asleep last night. 

“Well you could go directly to him,” Hunk shrugged, leaning back to rest his back on the dozens of pillows littering Lance’s bed. Lance’s eyes widened; go directly to him! 

“Hunk that's a great idea! Thanks man I love you,” Lance rambled, pulling Hunk in for a hug as he bounded off the bed, remnants of his cocky smile coming back to grace his lips. Hunk stared at the sudden mood change in bewilderment, eyebrows raised as Lance rifled through his closet. 

“How far is Keith’s apartment from here again? 3 hours, right?” Lance asked, nose deep into his closet as he carefully picked out an outfit suitable for confessing to your two year long crush. It had to have a little bit of sass but a whole lot of sexy if he was to sway Keith over after his major fuck up. 

“Uh, yeah. Wait you don’t mean—” Hunk started, eyes widening as he watched Lance pull a pink sweatshirt and black joggers on, a huge grin on his face. 

“That’s exactly what I mean.” 

  
  


Lance groaned, slamming his forehead on the edge of the wheel, hands gripping it tighter. It had been lightly drizzling outside when he left, but twenty minutes later, boom! It was pouring cats and dogs. Of all days, Japan’s skies had decided to let loose all of its rain today?! Don't get him wrong, normally Lance  _ loved _ the rain. Just not right now. 

And because of the rain, the traffic was  _ obnoxious.  _ Cars were so tightly packed together Lance could read what the lady next to him was texting her boyfriend. 

Lance’s eyes flew to the bouquet of red roses that he had bought on impulse from the florist down the road. Would Keith like flowers? Does he like romantic gestures?  _ Oh no what if I fucked up and he’s like fucking allergic to roses or something?  _ Lance felt sick to his stomach, like a turbulent storm had been caught inside him. His stomach flip flopped while his heart spun around violently, not giving his mind a single second of rest. 

Lance hadn’t felt this sick since he threw up sporadically after riding the largest roller coaster at Disneyland right after lunch. The rest of the squad had been laughing their asses off at him; he knew for a fact that Keith still had the video of Lance throwing up all over some random dude. Lance shivered;  _ what if he threw up all over Keith?  _ Oh god. 

Lance glanced back through the mirror, gulping. Was it too late to drive back? A small part of him wanted to go home and forget this whole debacle as he drowned in misery over Keith, but another part wanted to run to Keith’s side. If Keith really  _ did _ love him, he would forgive him. At least, Lance hoped he would. 

Lance gulped, slowly inching forward with his car. It was going to be a long drive. But hopefully, it would all be worth it. Just seeing Keith’s face, whether it was scowling or gently smiling, would be worth everything. Lance just wanted to wrap his arms around the man one more time, even if he was shoved away seconds later.  _ Keith, Keith, Keith.  _ His name ran through Lance’s head on loops, images of the gentle smile the man would give him appearing. The way Keith would wrap some of his hair around his finger, or how  _ amazingly hot  _ he looked when Keith tied his hair up. 

Lance was so fucked.   

  
  
  


It was dark outside, and the rain poured in such thick torrents you could barely see anything. The violent winds rustled the trees, shaking leaves all over the road—and all over Lance’s windshield. He scowled, pulling up as close as he could to Keith’s apartment, willing his heart to stop racing. 

_ You’re the man Lance. The ladies love you, the guys love you, heck even grandparents and little kids love you! How could Keith say no to this charming smile?  _ Except he could. Lance’s knuckles had turned white from how hard he was gripping the bouquet, the petals quivering. He took deep, quick breaths.  _ Breathe in, breathe out.  _ Lance’s chest pounded, and his legs felt like jelly. Could he even get out of the car? What if the address was wrong? What if Keith was already asleep? What if he didn't want to see Lance? 

Lance took a deep breathe, swinging the car door open and glancing at the lit windows in Keith’s apartment. It was now or never. He jumped out, concentrating on his breathing so deeply he barely felt the rain pound into his body. Okay, he felt it a little but Lance is a man! A little rain isn't going to stop him. 

Lance grabbed some stones he had brought with him, sending up a quick prayer before pelting them as hard as he could at Keith’s window, screaming, “KEITH!” He continued his machine gun style of throwing rocks for another minute before an annoyed Keith popped out the window. 

“WHO THE FU—Lance?!” Keith shrieked, eyes wide and mouth gaping like a fish. Lance’s breath hitched; Keith looked so beautiful. His hair was undone, and Lance could see peeks of his pale skin from the black v neck he was wearing. Keith’s skin was flushed a light red, a towel around his shoulders like he had just taken a shower. 

“I—uh—yeah. Just come down,” Lance begged, his voice just loud enough that it carried all the way up to Keith’s window. Keith looked at him for a few more seconds before sighing, sharply nodding and slamming the window shut. He heard pounding footsteps; moments later, Keith stood in front of him with a black umbrella, lips turned down into a hesitant frown and eyebrows furrowed. 

Lance, looking like a kicked puppy, stared dumbly at Keith. He could imagine how pathetic he looked right now. Clutching roses in his shaking hand, hair plastered to his face because of the rain, clothes soaking and dripping wet. 

“Lance? Why are you he—” 

“Just let me talk!” Lance cut Keith off, shaking the bouquet in his hand like it was a microphone. He could feel his blood pounding, and it felt like his heart would beat right out of his chest. Could Keith hear how loud his heart was beating right now? Does he know how nervous Lance is? 

“I—um. I got the messages you sent me,” Lance started, fist tightening when he saw hurt flash across Keith’s face, “and I needed to tell you how I feel about you, face to face.” 

“Lance, please. I don't need another rejection. I got your answer loud and clear last night,” Keith responded softly, like if he spoke louder he might break in two. Lance felt tears prick at his eyes; it wasn't supposed to be like this! 

“No!” Lance shouted much to the surprise of Keith, who visibly flinched, eyes widening almost comically. Lance’s eyes flew to Keith’s lips, feeling a maddening urge to grab Keith by the chin and kiss him. But he couldn’t. Not yet.

“You don't understand. I—I love you too,” Lance finally said, voice hoarse and knees shaking. He wiped his bangs out of his face, mainly to hide his red face from Keith. 

“What? Then…...why didn't you respond?! Do you know how scared I was?” Keith asked, walking closer and closer to Lance with every question. He had long since abandoned the umbrella, his entire body now soaking wet like Lance’s. 

Lance almost backed up instinctively, but stopped himself when he saw the tears streaming down Keith’s face. Lance bit back a laugh; here Keith was, yelling at him, and Lance could only think about how amazing Keith looked when he cried. 

“I fell asleep.” 

“You fell asleep?” 

“Yeah.” 

_ “You fell asleep?!”  _ Keith nearly screamed, this time only a centimeter away from Lance as he weakly laid his fist on Lance’s chest after a barrage of weak hearted punches. Lance couldn't help the laugh that bubbled out of his throat, nodding. 

“It’s not funny, you bastard!” Keith exclaimed with no bite, a gentle smiling adorning his lips. Lance grinned; he hadn't driven out so far just to say that. 

“I love everything about you. I love your over sized hoodies that you wear, and how you like to roll the sleeves up all the time, even if it's cold. I love that you can be really responsible one minute but suggest something really dumb like bungee jumping off an old bridge the next. By the way, that was terrifying and I am never doing what you suggest next time,” Lance grinned, mentally patting himself on the back when Keith giggled a bit, leaning into Lance.

“I love you especially late at night, when your hair is undone like this,” Lance murmured, gently running a hand through Keith’s wet hair, “and it's so soft to the touch. Or the way your eyes will light up when you watch a history documentary. I love you when you’re happy, the biggest smile on your face as you beat me at something or share a story. I love you when you’re sad, tears blurring your vision and you reach towards the camera for a hug even though I'm so far away. I love you when you’re angry, a red hot rage fueling your cruel words and how flushed your face gets. I love the way you take care of Red, even willing to put up with my bullshit when we take Blue and Red out on walks. I love that you can't cook to save your life, but you once tried making my favorite dish because I was homesick. No really, don't cook again—you burned your welcome may trying to boil an egg,” Lance giggled, thinking back to the panicked phone call he had gotten from Keith around lunch time a year ago. Lance grunted, smirking when a scowling Keith shoved him lightly. 

“What I’m trying to say is, I love you. And I want you to move in with me someday. Also, I love you. Like a lot.  I love you, I love you, I love you, I lo—” 

Keith pulled Lance into a kiss, smashing their lips together. Lance froze for a second, hands flailing and mind going blank. But he felt Keith’s hand grab his, their warmth slowly getting rid of the frigid cold that had set into him. Lance smiled into the kiss, lightly running his fingers up Keith’s neck. 

Keith moaned into the kiss, opening his lips slightly. Lance grinned, sliding his hand into Keith’s hair slowly, grabbing a handful as he deepened the kiss. A warmth that felt like a campfire fire pooled in his stomach, spreading warmth to every inch of Lance’s body. He couldn't help the upward tilt of his lips as he gently kissed Keith’s chapped lips, eyes half lidded as he watched Keith. 

Keith’s long eyelashes cast a small shadow on his sculpted face, following the upturn of his nose and the curves of his cheeks. Lance gently cupped Keith’s face with his other hand, guiding Keith closer to him. Lance felt Keith chuckle into his lips, the vibrations sending shivers up and down his spine. Lance felt Keith’s arm wrap around his waist as they slammed against the column of the building, bodies flush against each other. It's like Lance was on fire, sparks dancing throughout his body, teasing each other with faint touches and quick darts of their tongue. Lance’s knees would give out any second, but damn it—he was going to enjoy these few moments. 

They finally pulled apart, breathing shallow and fast as Lance rested his forehead against Keith’s. Their eyes were still closed, savoring the atmosphere. Lance’s hand had traveled to Keith’s shoulder, the other one still stuck in his hair. Keith’s arms were linked around Lance’s waist, pulling their bodies as close together as humanly possible. 

Lance could feel Keith’s sharp hip bones digging into his waist, and he dropped his hand down to slip his thumb under Keith’s shirt, running it along the edge of his hips. Keith jolted at the sudden touch, eyes flying open and face red from the intimacy. He sent Lance a questioning glance, a smirk dancing on his lips when Lance didn't say anything. 

Lance pressed a slow kiss against Keith’s lips one more time, smiling at the shudder he felt pass through Keith’s body. He lowered both of his hands to where Keith’s were, intertwining the both of them. Lance’s lips trailed kisses from Keith’s lips to his earlobes, murmuring “I love you,” over and over again everyone his lips left Keith’s skin. Lance pressed his lips against Keith’s eyelids, tongue darting out to run away the salty tears. His kisses finally ended, Lance’s nose pressed against Keith’s, whose eyes had followed his every move. 

A chuckle from Keith broke the silence, and Lance felt a laugh tumble out of him. The two rested their foreheads against each other, laughing till they felt tears at their eyes. Lance squeezed Keith’s hands, smiling when he felt a faint squeeze back. 

“You sure are dramatic, aren't you?” Keith asked, voice hoarse and lips looking swollen in the white moon light. Lance nodded, the ghost of a laugh still stuck in his shining eyes. 

“Hey, it's in my jenes,” Lance smirked triumphantly at the groan that erupted from Keith’s lips. 

“Please—no more,” Keith begged, swinging their intertwined hands around as he attempted to put his hands into a prayer position. Once their laughter died down, Keith caught Lance’s gaze, trapping him. Lance felt like all the air in him had been punched out; it was like he couldn't breathe. 

“I love you too, you noodle. I always have.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hOo boy !!! there it is ! boom the gay !! It gets gay next chapter too so be ready kiddos ~ 
> 
> [Tumblr](http://plumsakusa.tumblr.com) | [Twitter](https://twitter.com/spacedaddio)


	11. Moving In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> congrats , you played yourself

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guy s !!!! chapters are going to be slower because I'm starting school next week and I'm taking two APs rip me !!! 
> 
> also I'm calling out my friend Izzi, you mullet fucker <3 ily

**Sir Lancelot >>> keitharoni, McHunk, Space mom, here come dat pidge, Stache, and ** **Space Daddy** **™**

  
  


_ December 3rd  _

 

_ [ 11:22 am ]  _

  
  


**Sir Lancelot:** keith where tf r u oHNGOOFMD DDD 

**keitharoni:** stfu im lit lugging my shit up the stairs 

**McHunk:** oh is it finally the moving day 

**Sir Lancelot:** ye

**Sir Lancelot:** NOT LIKE U WOULD KNOW 

**here come dat pidge:** oh god not again

**Sir Lancelot:** YOU SAID YOUD HELP 

**Space Daddy** **™:** lance its too early for this 

**Sir Lancelot:** YOU BETRAYED ME,,,,

**keitharoni:** and me? 

**Sir Lancelot:** SHHHH 

**Sir Lancelot:** YOU LEFT ME FOR A DAY OF MOVIES WITH SHAY 

**Sir Lancelot:** FAKE FRIEND 

**here come dat pidge:** our resident drama queen,,,,

**Space mom:** hes more dramatic than i am 

**Stache:** and that says a lot 

**Space mom:** oi ! 

**Stache:** princess u cried for a solid ten min after you dropped your cup of noodles 

**Space mom:** IT WAS THE LAST OF THE FLAVO R OK 

**Sir Lancelot:** smh mom stop being dramatic 

**keitharoni:** you literally cried over a picture of dogs 

**Sir Lancelot:** THE PUPPER LOOKED SAD 

**Sir Lancelot:** U HEARTLESS BEAST 

**here come dat pidge:** a dog once sat on me,

**here come dat pidge:** killed me , my family

**McHunk:** sounds fake but ok 

**Sir Lancelot:** O SHIT REKT 

**here come dat pidge:** ive been trying to study for like an hour but all ik i remember is benjamin franklin wrote an essay on farts 

**Sir Lancelot:** studying? I don’t know her 

**McHunk:** i cant believe benjamin 

**McHunk:** he was wild 

**Space Daddy** **™:** u just called a founding father by their first name 

**McHunk:** shhh benjamin and i r tight 

**here come dat pidge:** sounds fake but ok 

**Space mom:** REKT U JUST GOT BURNT HOO BOI 

**McHunk:** make sure theres good cake at my funeral 

**Sir Lancelot:** i will buddy,,,,,,, i will 

**McHunk:** a true friend,,,,,i can onl y trust u 

**here come dat pidge:** gross friendship 

**Sir Lancelot:** u know u love us pidge 

**McHunk:** yeah we r ur friendssssssss

**here come dat pidge:** sure jan 

**Sir Lancelot:** YOU L O V E US 

**Space mom:** WE R UR FAVS PIDGE 

**here come dat pidge:** I DIDNT SIGN UP FOR THIS 

**Space Daddy** **™:** u rlly dont have a choice pidge 

**here come dat pidge:** THE W O R S T 

**here come dat pidge:** i came out to have a good time and i feel so attacked 

**Sir Lancelot:** i have receipts pidge 

**here come dat pidge:** I MEAN ILY GUYS 

**Space mom:** dammn that was fast 

**McHunk:** what those receipts of tho 

**Sir Lancelot:** ;))))))))))) lets just say pidge when drunk is w i l d 

**Space mom:** rip in peace 

 

_ Sir Lancelot has attached a photo >>> Receipts.png  _

 

**Sir Lancelot:** SHIT THOS E ARE THE WRONG RECEIPTS 

**Space mom:** THATS A SCREENSHOT OF U SAYING YER GAY FOR BOYS WITH SQUARE BOOTIES

**here come dat pidge:** CONGRATULATIONS 

**McHunk:** YA PLAYED 

**keitharoni:** YOURSELF 

**Stache:** HOW TF DO YOU GUYS DO THAT ITS SO WEIRD 

**Space mom:** YEAH WHERE TF DID U EVEN COME FROM KEITH ???

**Sir Lancelot:** STOP THIS IS LANCE CRUELTY ??? 

**Space Daddy** **™:** rekt 

**Sir Lancelot:** father you,,,,,,  **clenches fist** how could you,,,, 

**Space mom:** the trash can is that way lance 

**here come dat pidge:** nice one 

**Sir Lancelot:** MEET ME BEHIND KMART SO WE CAN FIGHT 

**Here come dat pidge:** its on ya bag of bones 

**Sir Lancelot:** IM RIPPED SHUT UP 

**Space mom:** sOUNDS FAKE BUT OK 

**McHunk:** lance with muscles? Who????? 

**Sir Lancelot:** i dont deserve this treatment 

**Space Daddy** **™:** i feel that way everyday Lance 

**Sir Lancelot:** PAIN ITS PAIN 

**Sir Lancelot:** im calling the cops on u meanies 

**here come dat pidge:** GO AHEAD BITCH 

**Space mom:** ill meet u behind kmart hoe 

**Sir Lancelot:** LETS STOP THIS 

**Space Daddy** **™:** agreed

**Space Daddy** **™:** oh ! we should call during ur move if everyone is free ?

**Stache:** oh yes sounds lovely

**Sir Lancelot:** uh yeah im down let me bring my mac into the kitchen 

**Sir Lancelot:** mullet will join once hes upstairs 

**keitharoni:** ONCE AGAIN 

**keitharoni:** WHAT DOES MY HAIR HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH THIS 

**Sir Lancelot:** uhhhhhhh its on yer head????? 

**keitharoni: *takes deep breath***

**keitharoni:** B O I 

**here come dat pidge:** rekt 

**Space mom:** savage 

**McHunk:** he deserves it , ya piece of shit 

**Sir Lancelot:** i, a good memer, dont deserve ANY of this 

**Space Daddy** **™:** and i do???? save me 

**Sir Lancelot:** aight im starting the call 

 

_ Space Nerds is now calling……… _

  
  


“KEITH!” Lance screamed the instant the call started, making all the other participants jump in shock, Shiro nearly dropping his coffee mug. Lance smirked at their disgruntled faces, laughing when Pidge flipped him off. 

“Lance,  _ why _ ?” Allura groaned, rubbing the spot where she had bumped her forehead on the lamp when she jumped. Shiro had adopted a playful scowl, already prepared to launch into a Dad Lecture, disapproving look at the ready. 

“Dicks out for Lance shutting the fuck up and not screaming,” Pidge said, sticking their tongue out when Lance stuck up his middle finger. 

“Dicks out for Pidge to stop procrastinating and get some sleep.” 

“Dicks out for Lance to stop putting the milk first in his cereal.” 

“Dicks out for Pidge to stop wearing those ugly crocs and jorts.” 

“Dicks out for Lance to stop using the damn furry filters on snapchat.” 

“Dicks out for Pidge to  _ start  _ using the furry filters and accept their fate as a furry.” 

“Dicks out for Lance to stop wearing socks and sandals everywhere he goes.”

“DICKS OUT FOR YOU TWO TO SHUT THE HELL UP,” Hunk interrupted, eyes wide and eyebrows furrowed, a laughing Shay standing behind him. The two were wearing matching dragon onesies, hands linked just out of the frame. Lance smiled secretly to himself; finally,  _ he _ had a cute, asshole boyfriend to hold hands with. And no one could tell him it was wrong. 

“Finally. I almost turned the volume off on all of you,” Coran’s voice crackled through, the edge of his mustache just bobbing in the frame. Lance raised an eyebrow at the sounds of clattering and water pouring down, following by slapping sounds. 

“What are you doing Coran?” Shiro asked, beating Lance to the question. By now they could all see bubbles in the screen, water sloshing everywhere. And was that a......meow?

“Oh, me? I’m giving little Prince here a bath,” Coran grinned, holding up a mewling and agitated cat from the bathtub. Lance’s eyebrows nearly shot to the ceiling. The cat looked a little too much like Coran, the same color fur and it even had a sort of mustache. Like they say, pets look like their owners.

"You named your cat Prince?" 

"Well of course. He is the Prince of our penthouse after all," Coran said with a grin, rubbing the cat's body as he plopped him back into the tub.

“So when is our next squad meetup?” Allura asked, groaning with effort as she tried to hold her headstand. Lance checked the clock; right on time. Allura stretched and practiced her gymnastics everyday at 11:35 no matter what. Last year, when she had broken her wrist after a fight, she had still tried to do them (to say the least, her wrist was hurt even more). 

“You could all come by my place,” Shiro suggested, leaning back in his spinny chair that was  _ super  _ comfortable. Shiro had three or four of them in his apartment and it was the best thing ever. They rolled so smoothly, and it felt like heaven for your ass when you sat down. 10/10 would sit in the chair. The last time they went, Hunk, Pidge, and Lance had raced around Shiro’s floor on the chairs, annoying neighbors and nearly killing an old man hobbling around. 

“If I remember correctly, _Lance_ , you broke that old man’s foot last time we were at Shiro’s,” Pidge pointed out, adjusting their glasses and triumphantly smirking when Lance groaned in humiliation, covering his face.

“It was an accident!” 

“Allura screamed you get 30 points for hitting the old guy and you did it!” Hunk interrupted, eyebrow raised. 

“HUNK GOT ALL THE RECEIPTS BOI!” Pidge shrieked, making a hand chopping motion towards Lance. 

“You’ve been  _ exposed _ ,” Shiro said seriously, taking a sip of coffee from his glass. Lance flipped them all off, a laugh spilling out of his lips. Calls like these just made him so happy. And the fact that Keith, his  _ boyfriend,  _ was finally moving in made today so much better.  _ His boyfriend.  _ Lance smiled, red dusting the tops of his cheeks. It felt weird, but everytime the word ran through his mind or rolled off his lips a surge of happiness ran through him. Keith was his boyfriend.  _ His.  _ Lance couldn’t help the huge smile that appeared on his face, making his cheeks slightly ache. 

“What’re you smiling to yourself about?” A light, teasing voice asked, breaking into Lance’s thoughts. Lance turned to see a sweaty Keith walking into the apartment, dragging various boxes on a cart behind him. Keith walked over to Lance, who was frozen with happiness. He had been messaging and video chatting with Keith since they started going out, but he hadn’t seen him in so long. The fact that five other people were watching this scene play out flew out of his mind, his eyes following Keith's every little move. From the way he brushed aside a strand of hair to the bead of sweat rolling down his forehead.

Lance grabbed Keith by the waist, gently pulling him to his side, a cocky grin on his face. Keith rolled his eyes, but smiled gently, cupping Lance’s face with his free hand(the other one was creeping dangerously close to Lance’s ass). After a few seconds of just gazing at each other, bodies flush against each other, Lance pressed his lips against Keith’s, enjoying the small moan Keith emitted. Their noses brushed against each other, and Lance was so close that Keith could count all 87 freckles sprinkling the tops of his cheek bones and nose. 

Lance moved to deepen the kiss, but was interrupted by loud screaming and shrieking. His eyes widened, quickly stepping back as he looked at the computer screen in horror. The entire squad was in various states of shock and happiness and yelling loudly. Allura had falled out of her headstand and was crying in shock, Coran had forgotten about the cat a long time ago, Shiro was sitting there with his jaw hanging open, Hunk and Shay looked ready to riot, and Pidge had spilled their coffee all over themselves and looked ready to cry. 

“So this is why you guys are moving in together….” Shiro trailed off, slowly snapping out of his shocked state. 

“Please,” Pidge began, furiously wiping at their shirt, “Keith moved in so he could get some dick.” 

“ _ Pidge, _ ” Allura shrieked, trying to hold back her laughter. Shiro was sighing, shaking his head. These kids were the reason he was going to retire early. 

“What? It’s true,” Pidge shrugged, laughing at the frighteningly bright red color of Lance and Keith’s faces. 

“Damn it. Now I owe Pidge twenty bucks,” Hunk bemoaned, already pulling up his PayPal account to transfer the money to Pidge. Allura’s eyes widened, panic filling them.

“Don’t think you can get away Princess! You owe me fifty bucks!” Pidge reminded her, an evil smirk settling on their lips. 

“Fuck. I thought you forgot.” 

“I never forget matters to do with money.” 

“I, a good person and father, didn’t bet,” Shiro affirmed, sending fingers at Lance and Keith, who finger gunned back. 

“Shiro, stop lying. You owe me fifteen dollars,” Coran rose his eyebrow, smirking at the deer in headlights look that settled over Shiro. 

“ _ Dad!  _ You betrayed us,” Lance whined, wiping away his fake tears, trying to hide the laughter that was bubbling in his chest. This whole situation was surreal. When he first moved to Japan he never thought he would find a group of people that he loved so much. Every moment with them was so warm, like sitting around a campfire. It struck him deeply, and just the love they all gave each other was everything Lance could have ever asked for. A few real tears snuck their way into Lance’s mock crying, but they were filled with happiness and all the pent up feelings he had. 

“I’m sorry Lance, Keith. You guys were just so in love but so oblivious!” 

“Says you,” Pidge snorted, sending pointed looks at Allura and Shiro, who were both blushing as they furiously looked anywhere but at each other. 

“All the couples in this group are idiots,” Coran said, a good natured smile on his face as he leaned back, absentmindedly rubbing soap into the cat’s fur. 

“You’re a dumbass!” Keith whispered softly, elbowing Lance. The two had agreed to keep the relationship secret till the next meetup, but looks like that plan flew out the window. Lance shrugged, tightening his arm around Keith’s waist and dropping his head into the crook of Keith’s neck, pouting. 

“Oops?” Lance mumbled into Keith’s neck, who sighed but squeezed the hand that was intertwined with Lance’s. 

“You two are an honest to God mess,” Coran spoke up, rolling his eyes with a huff and smile. The others hummed (or in Pidge’s case, yelled) in agreement. 

“We’re a mess that are in love,” Keith said, looking up at Lance’s blushing face with a teasing smirk. Who knew it would have ended up like this? 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well theres that !!! hope y'all enjoyed it !! I'm probably going to start writing an Olympic AU where Lance is a swimmer, Keith is a gymnast, Allura a vball player, and Shiro in track !! thoughts? 
> 
> oh, also I had a url change on tumblr !! I'm not plumsakusa, I'm nyapilot now 
> 
> [Tumblr](http://nyapilot.tumblr.com) | [Twitter](https://twitter.com/spacedaddio)


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